for Girls:Do you understand guys?Wt dont you understand?guy welcome to give advice [Archive]

Sha

09-13-2004, 09:40 AM

Guys...well, I think it's something that's never gonna be resolved - they'll never fully understand us and we'll never fully understand them.

I think, that girls place too much meaning on what guys say. Normally, if a girl says, "I'm fine", she's not really fine. She wants him to show that he cares by pursuing the topic but when he doesn't, she gets annoyed. But if a guy says the same thing, girls think they're hiding something when really, they're not. But that's because of the different ways that we work.

Guys are more blunt, straight-forward (except when it comes to feelings) while girls tend to beat around the bush, prefering to let other people guess how they're feeling. Especially when they're mad/irritated/annoyed at their boyfriend. I think this is a major reason why we have a lot of misunderstandings.

But I don't understand how guys can watch footy or sport on tv for the whole day...and why they're so adverse to telling a girl of how they feel or emotions they're going through.

Like my boyfriend...instead of coming straight out and saying to me:"Are you ok?" or "What's wrong?" He'll say: "You look sad" or "You look depressed." It's like he's allergic to saying anything related to feelings or something.

Or maybe females are just very emotional creatures...I dunno...

But if we all understood each other the world would be rid of its fun and adventure then hmmm? :brows:

sagara0510

09-13-2004, 09:54 AM

huh?? u've contradicted urself... firstly u said that guys are blunt... then u say that ur bf can't come out and ask u straight if you are ok... hmm...

in any case i always ask my gf if she's ok.. or 'whats wrong'... whats up with that?? am i not a guy??...but then again i do regard myself as an emotional person... im more emotional than she is... i cry when i'm happy even...

i've found most boys to be stupid, simple creatures (no offense, but most of them really are). they're relatively simple to understand

as for guys being simple.. i'm quite offended...hahha nah im not really.. i know quite afew SIMPLE guys... but in general..i don't think its true.. guys can be more complex than all u girls are led to believe... just because the stereotype says we're simple...i picked the 3rd option in the poll cos well... damned if i know what other guys are thinking.. i dislike shopping for guys presents more than girls presents... cos i never know what to buy...

with girls at least u have afew safety options..perfume.. choco.. flowers... jewellery... soft toys etc etc..

hmm...altho i did hear once that 99% of the time.. guys think about sex.. and the other 1% is about food.. or something like that... wouldn't know if its true or not... i know i spend alota time thinkin abt food... but thats usually cos im always hungry...

Sha

09-13-2004, 01:35 PM

huh?? u've contradicted urself... firstly u said that guys are blunt... then u say that ur bf can't come out and ask u straight if you are ok... hmm...

in any case i always ask my gf if she's ok.. or 'whats wrong'... whats up with that?? am i not a guy??...

Firstly, I said guys are blunt except when it comes to feelings.

And just cause you're more emotional and always ask your girlfriend if she's ok doesn't mean you're not a guy. Like you said, you're more emotional...and I'm sure your gf appreciates that cause many guys aren't.

wonnage

09-14-2004, 01:15 AM

...and why they're so adverse to telling a girl of how they feel or emotions they're going through.

Like my boyfriend...instead of coming straight out and saying to me:"Are you ok?" or "What's wrong?" He'll say: "You look sad" or "You look depressed." It's like he's allergic to saying anything related to feelings or something.

It's not "manly" to complain to your girlfriend about stuff. If you ask him "are you happy?" and he is, he'll probably answer "oh, yes!" and if he's really nice he might even slip in something like "of course, I'm always happy when I'm with you!" Sounds lame but yeah...we make this stuff up on the spot.

If he looks down though, and you ask him "are you feeling alright unless you have a very unusual guy he'll answer "i'm fine!" We don't want to look weak, ever. Sounds stupid to you? Sounds stupid to me too, but that's the way it is.

A lot of guys aren't used to caring about others either, especially if they're an only child. At least if you have a little brother you'll take care of him. Up until that magical age where you decide "hey, they DON'T have cooties..." there's not much caring involved - much more "tag you're it! hahahha loser". When you start having to express emotions and caring it feels weird and uncomfortable. The worst fear is asking "what's wrong?" and getting "nothing" as an answer. What're you supposed to do then? Awkward silence, not cool. If you just say "you look sad", even if you get "no" (which probably means yes), you have an excuse to continue.

AHHH. too much analysis. Let's just say it comes naturally, we don't try to be difficult on purpose.

sagara0510

09-14-2004, 03:50 AM

yeah.. i use the 'nothing' line alot... and it really makes things bad.. my gf has expressed her dislike for it and has made me promise not to do it nemore so now whenever something is wrong and she asks.. i have to force myself to tell her even if i'm not ready to mention it... in a way its good because then i don't dwell on my feelings to make things worse... but in a way its bad cos i like to prepare my thoughts before sharing them... if i'm questioned on the spot i feel unprepared and sometimes i say things i may not necessarily mean...

swtaznkandi

09-14-2004, 04:58 AM

hey hey hey...that sort of attitude isn't going to get you anywhere except divorce court <.< if you even get that far.
haha i was only half kidding. maybe it's only my age group, but guys really do seem to be quite dim-witted. hopefully these fools will mature sometime and learn to think about things other than video games and cars.

sagara0510

09-14-2004, 05:33 AM

dim witted???

*faints*

i am SOOOO not a dim light bulb... oh wait.. is that the same as wen they say ur lights are on but no1's home?? :unsure:

anyway... give ur guys more time... at that age.. they don't have much else to worry about... once they start work... they'll get old real quick real fast.. unless they really are dim witted...

hisashi

09-14-2004, 09:29 AM

Hmm Jason: What does dim wit means to u? To me, when a guy is dim wit, it means he doesn't have any clue that the gal is interested in him! :oops: Sad to say, I think some do not have this "sixth" sense to feel that this girl is actually interested in him by wanting to go out with him always. ><

anyways, I voted for Option 2. Sometimes, they give me this insecure feeling which means they can only joke and don't take things seriously. Sometimes when I mean I am serious, I am but he just jokingly reply or comment about something that I have said.

It's really the expression that counts? When I feel tired and put on a tired face, he thought I was angry. :dry:

Are guys more sensitive than girls?

Also, guys don't like to express themselves too? I hardly hear from my guy friend about his daily life...complaints..etc...he has very little to say about him...

sagara0510

09-14-2004, 09:38 AM

dim wit... mm... i can never tell if a girl likes me or not... sometimes when i think they like me and i go for it i am usually wrong and get rejected... i wouldn't know when a girl likes me or not.. only my first gf tried to kau me.. i didn't figure it out till later... :blush:

i think guys can be quite sensitive... i know i can be quite sensitive sometimes about little things...

Sha

09-15-2004, 06:06 AM

Wonnage: I agree with a lot of what you said actually, I think how a guy grows up in a family is very much related to how he is. I think an only child may not be so open, sensitive or caring towards a girl cause, like you said, he hasn't done much of it growing up, he's only been on the recieving end from his parents. And that can lead to selfishness.

But not all only childs are like that, this is just the stereotype. I read this article in Cosmo once that depicts first-borns as independent and very strong, the middle child as very insecure and the last born as very dependent of others. It concluded that the middle child is the best kind of guy for you to have a really good relationship with cause he's more aware of your needs and is more sensitive to how you feel.

My boyfriend has an older brother and a younger step-sister (one he hasn't known his whole life) so does that make him a middle child? :? Hopefully huh? :brows:

I understand what he's trying to say when he does say to me that I "look sad" so I try to make it easier on him by assuring him I'm ok. But if I don't, he gets so agitated and unsure, is it really that big a problem if I'm feeling down for a short while? I mean, it's like he wants me to be happy all the time. Which is near-impossible for a moody person like myself.

Hisashi: Haha :D I also get that whole facial expression thing. While my boyfriend can recognise when I'm tired, I'd say that's about all the emotions he knows. If I'm frowning, not smiling or just serious, he'll immediately assume I'm sad, depressed, angry or stressed out.

There's also an article in Cosmo about treating our serious problems as jokes that I recall so I'll flick through my mags and find it then I'll get back to you on that. But it's all rooted to their psyche and the way they think. If he laughs or makes a joke, he's trying to diffuse the situation and only when he knows he can't talk you out of it, only then will he (reluctantly) talk to you properly about it. But that's just what I can remeber of the article.

It's true about dim-witted guys. It takes a knock on the head for them to realise a girl likes them. And even then she has to come out and say it. I got so frustrated with my ex when he was beating around the bush and just came right out and said to him I like him. They really are quite obtuse sometimes...very intelligent at other things, yes, butwhen it comes to girls, very obtuse.

hisashi

09-15-2004, 08:29 AM

LOL.. Sha. I say that I have only an expression that is, tired face and that face to him, would regard as "smelly" face. and when I don't smile, he would also regard it as not feeling good today. ><;; I agree with u, Sha. Can't girls have a time of not smiling always? ><;;

Is it? Middle child? Hmm, he has an elder sis (had an another elder sis but she's gone) and a younger sis so...it makes him the middle child! :D no wonder he is sensitive to my feelings...erm..I mean facial expressions... :sweat:

Heh..I think it's true about the last child..I'm the last child.. XD

I think I should read more Cosmo.

Sha

09-15-2004, 12:41 PM

LOL.. Sha. I say that I have only an expression that is, tired face and that face to him, would regard as "smelly" face

I think I should read more Cosmo.

Hisashi: Smelly face?! :hmm: What is that? Or don't I want to know? Can a face be smelly? :dunce:

Yes, you should definitely read Cosmo. I think all girls over 18 should read it. It has a lot of sex-oriented stuff but the demographic they aim for are mainly Western women. I mainly buy it for the fashion but they also have really good articles on guys, called a "Man Manual". It provides a lot of insight into the way they think, what their actions mean, body language and what their telephone-talk means! All vital stuff for a girl if she doesn't wanna go nuts trying to figure them out :yeah:

But yeah, I'll get back to ya on the article...but it probably won't be until next Monday. I think that's maybe why girls understand guys more than they understand us. We have magazines, mothers, friends and sisters who have all gone through it before or have more experience and knowledge than us so we are definitely better off. Whereas with guys, even if they have close friends, they don't really get down to the nitty-gritty when it comes to talking about girls. Well, not the guys I know anyway. I think Wonnage brought this up, the fact that they don't wanna appear as unmanly, weak or vulnerable. And I guess talking or admitting their feelings makes them feel this way. A shame huh? :wink2:

pyre

09-18-2004, 08:36 AM

They aren't really that hard to understand...hehe you can go as far to say they are very simple minded! haha

hisashi

09-21-2004, 03:51 AM

Hisashi: Smelly face?! :hmm: What is that? Or don't I want to know? Can a face be smelly? :dunce:

Smelly face is a frowning face... :sweat: Yep. U are right but I think I will never able to understand them fully especially with regards to relationships...feelings..etc...cos they hardly show it on their face...neither will they talk about their perceptions/thinking about relationships.... *shrugs*

pyre

09-22-2004, 04:28 AM

I have a pet peeve. Why can't guys just tell you he likes you? he has to play games with you and make you think he likes someone else so you wont get suspiciuos as to why he is spending so much time with you? It really annoys me how girls can be starightforaward with their feelings and some guys have to go round and round and round!

Sha

09-22-2004, 02:30 PM

Why can't guys just tell you he likes you?

I'm with you 110% for that!! :-)

But ya know what? They say the same thing about us. And I believe it's true - for both genders. Maybe it's got something to do with rejection and looking (or feeling) really really desperate.

I mean, us girls are total contradictions too. We want a guy to be staright out with us but then when he is, we think he's desperate...and...ahem...pathetic looking. It's like that with me: if he's really really into me and shows it...I tend to think he's desperate. I prefer if it's a liitle hard and I sorta have to work for it cause when you get it, you appreciate it more. It's all to do with the way we think really. But it's dumb too cause when a guy really does like you and he's just being sincere (which is what we want) then we tend to brush him off cause he's too needy.

No wonder they think we're nuts. I would too if I were a guy :wink2:

cutegirlgirl

10-14-2004, 10:37 AM

sigh...i wish i can just understand how guys think....i mean, i dunno how to find out if a guy likes me if he doesn't tell me....but guys who confessed 2 me b4 were not the type that i'm looking for...n guys that i like had never confessed 2 me....but my friends are telling me that there is this guy who is interested in me....and he shows it too...but i'm not sure whether he means it or not bcuz he always likes to joke around...but as far as i know....he doesn't treat other girls the way he treats me....or maybe he does....just without me knowing it...but then my friends are telling me again that he is scared of rejection...he is not the really good looking type of guy....but his personality and charisma attracted a lot of girls b4...and he rejected all of them....maybe he is really scared of rejection, as he is used to rejecting girls and not being rejected by them. i do like spending time with him...as he is fun to be with....i dunno whether this is called love but i'm sure that i am fond of him as a person...i just wish that i understand how he really feels for me....as a normal friend?or more than that? he does show that he cares for me...but i'm still not sure about it yet. i'm sorry because all i wrote is about myself....but i really hope that someone can tell me what they think about his actions....does he really like me?or does he treat me as a normal friend and nothing else?

Yuki

10-14-2004, 11:47 AM

Hey, I guess almost ALL gurls have the same prob with guys huh? I mean lemme tell u my story for example.... Last year I liked SY. He was 2 years older than me. I got to noe him thru my best frens bf and he was really a nice nice guy.But after around 4 months he finally told another fren that he dint really like me that way. So obvious heart break... since I really love chatting to him and he was so nice. Then while I was mending a broken heart, one of my classmates, BH started talking to me. During the time when I had a crush on SY, BH liked my best fren. It was so totally obvious cause he alwiz went to her place and chatted to her evryday without fail. Plus tease her till she dint noe wat to do with the guy. But the downside of both of them was... he speaks in Canto and Mandrin since his English isnt as good. He's chinese educated la. Whilst my fren is english educated. She CANNOT speak chinese to save her life...but she does understand la. So at that time I alwiz asked her if she liked him and she said no... but she still went on being frens with him la. Around the time whr I got rejected, my best fren started dating ANOTHER guy and not BH.I really dunno when or how but BH started talking to me. I really have nv talked to him altho we were classmates. So one beautiful day whr the exams were over and thr was NO teacher in class I was chatting to my best fren when BH asked me for some photo I was lookin at. Then he and his fren KC started asking me a whole lotta things about myself and since I was chatting to another fren I just half heartedly answered without realising wat was happening. Then when he wanted to return the photo, he just asked me the and then whether I could be his gf?!??!?!?! I was like Duh..... I was so taken aback... I just stared at him. I dint noe wat to think. Then obviously he felt weird and he said that we wouldnt be a proper match(Im not really sure how to translate it since it was in canto....but it was sumthing like this la) cause I was too short. And well weird things make me snap back to reality and I quickly blurted out a comeback... Then later a teacher came and asked BH to help him so he went off la. While Kc came up to me and started teasing.... it DINT take even one hour.... my whole class knew that he liked me. I really dint mind... somehow I saw parts of him I liked...and since I WAS mending a broken heart I tot oh well.... for 1 or 2 months(after exams no teaching since PMR over oredi) we spent alot ALOT of time 2gether. Sometimes just playing cards(I sucked at poker and he offered to teach me) we just spent alot of time doin stuff... chatting(not the serious type)... or if he's too tired he would just go for a nap and duh... I'd do the same since my other frens totally had other things to do and they wanted to make us a couple... I really tot that sumthing would happen... but the holidayz came and..... well we dint contact each other. He doesnt have internet access if Im not mistaken. So this year I came to skool and we were in seperate classes. Well one word....bummer. So after the whole half part of 2004 was spent studying(New subjects ppl.Next year SPM) Now his frens are telling me all over again that he still likes me. But they also say he's too shy. Do they really expect me to 'kao' him? He's really blurr but not dim witted la. Actually I havent come across a dim witted guy. Only one la but thats an on9 fren. All my other guy frens are really funny and they DO go on the deep side. It just depends on how u approach them. I CAN approach other guys but just this special one makes me a blurr case ALSO. Its gonna be ANOTHER bunch of holidayz and I really dun wan another deja'vu. I'd gladly kill myself(kidding) If I were to go thru the same thing again. How am I gonna approach this painfully shy guy?!?! And he;s NOT even shy to other ppl. Its only me. I guess we both do have the same problem. Im not doubting he likes me and I admit to liking him.... if its goin on for another long year I think Im gonna go mad.

I have a feeling I wrote totally too much. But thats just part of the story.

And actually guys arent that hard to understand. Im told I read guys signals pretty well but one in a blue moon they turn all weird and I cant understand ANYTHING they are trying to say. Well, Im sure guys are also thinking the same except to them its like... I cant understand girls AT ALL!!! At least girls understand guys a teensy weensy bit. Oh enuff about me anyway. Im sure I'll HAVE to find a way. Cause holz start in early Nov... if I dont do anything by then Im gonna go deja'vu again.

~Kit-Lye~

Hanzo

10-14-2004, 12:13 PM

okay two things for you girls to keep in mind.

1st. Looks do matter a lot!!! okay I mean a guy will not talk to ugly fat girls delibrately,
okay i know it sounds harsh, but at least i dont lie. So 1st thing that attracts a guy
to a girl is looks, vice versa. Yeah we are simple, if you're cute/hot, u're wanted,
if you are average looking, then it depends a lot on ur personality. if you are ugly,
well there are ugly guys out there :P

2nd. Personality is what you girls need to keep the guy around. If you are the boring
type, guys will leave you. Like you dont have to be funny or anything, but you have to
have a sense of humour, maybe like some sports, like to go out and do things like movies,
clubbing, drinking, just having a good time with his friends, or ur friends. Not the type that
just likes to stay at home and need 24/7 sweet talking from the guy.

MEN ARE FROM MARS! WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS! btw mars is better :P

kasic_fantasy

10-14-2004, 12:17 PM

Yuki

10-14-2004, 12:40 PM

Goodness hanzo you must be really picky or something...no offence but Im sure evryone in this world WOULD hope to have a goodlookin gf or a beautiful gf rite? But NOT evryone makes that a major factor in choosing bf's or gf's. Im sorry for saying this but it seems a little shallow that u would say most guys are liddat. I seriously doubt that cause I do know alot of guys and at least even if they are my age they are much nicer and understanding ppl. Girls that arent pretty DO have a life u noe? And who cares if she isnt pretty? Guys wont delibrately talk to them? I dont think so... Im sure there are some guys in this world who are nice and caring. Even non-pretty girls would like ppl to talk to them ya noe? ya its harsh and yes u dont lie but was that actually nessesary? And who made it a rule to pair up ugly ppl? Its not as if a pretty girl cant date or marry an ugly guy rite? I really dint noe thr were guys like this out thr... an eye opener.... I guess guys my age are way nicer.

kasic_fantasy

10-14-2004, 01:04 PM

yea i totally agree with yuki...not all guys mind looks....guys at my age erm...well mostly mind bout looks....but not all....there are some that are really nice...and they will make friends with anyone...no matter tall short fat or thin....so long as they are polite,well mannered,think normal and wise before they talk...well i guess its not just the guys...i guess it goes with the girls too...

Yuki

10-14-2004, 01:24 PM

I guess eventho we are young doesnt mean the guys our age arent mature huh? :? I mean its kinda immature to only bother about looks. Even last time ppl used to say(especially my frens) that Jay wasnt goodlooking enuff :profanit: . But look how he's changed thru the years :shiny: . Goodness he's so cool and unbelieveable :love: . So even if someone is not that good looking now doesnt mean they will stay like that. So I dont think ppl should bother that much about looks at times like these. Most goodlooking guys think just cause they got the looks think ppl should treat them differently :thumbsdo: and some are just big fat losers who are just plain old playboys :chair: . So looks arent evrything. Im glad someone agree's with me. :clink:

Hanzo

10-15-2004, 04:42 AM

one thing i don understand bout guys is that...is looks really that important?and hey one thing i dont really agree with hanzo is all guys minds bout looks...at least my ex dont... :happy:
well the guys around me are like hell...they are forever talking about porn stuffs....and the worse is they love to watch it together in class....sometimes i just cant take it and walk otu of the room

what kinda school is that? allowing kids to watch porn in class? and im 100% against
watching porn with other guys, not that i still watch porn. but watching porn with other
guys is gross, like watching it with ur gf is okay but other guys, thats awkward...

okay about looks, i guess i shouldn't say all the guys, but seriously, most of my friends and ppl in my city, at clubs, bars, school, ugly ppl are the quite ones that dont have much friends, never gone out out dates. And i ALMOST never see fat ugly girls dancing on the dance floor/cages/stages in clubs.

and remember what i said, appearance is what FIRST attracts the opposite sex. But not the
key element in a relationship. The key is still personality.

Yuki

10-15-2004, 03:18 PM

Well, if evryone was only attracted to looks...I think I wouldnt have been friends with alot of ppl. I mean Im still in skool and thr are alot of different ppl. Some stand out cause of their looks but those ppl who are liddat in skool are dubbed LCLY(Erm... arrogant) Be it girls or guys...those with looks are downright proud. I think only in skool ppl just mix around without bothering about looks.... cause if they only notice ppl cause of looks and not personality in the 1st place.... ALOT ALOT of ppl wouldnt have friends. And it also depends on how u see ppl. To u some ppl might be "OMG! Dun let him talk to me!!" But to other ppl it might be...."Well, he isnt too goodlooking but I think his hair is cool" Get it rite? So sometimes its how we picture our future partners to be. I picture mine with small eyes...Like Jay....>"<

I really dint just like small eyed guys cause of Jay but after I became a fan I liked small eyes EVEN more. To my other friends small eyed guys dont fit in their "Goodlookin" factor. My friend likes guys with great hair BUT my type of great hair and HER type of great hair is diff.... so I guess only u noe wat ur attracted to. And I wanna add another point to all guys around..... dont ever reject a girl saying she's too fat..... One of my ex-classmates got rejected and he later said(I dont think to her face but thru a friend) he said she was too fat. Actually is was on the heavy side but he dint need to voice his opinions to other ppl. So within one year she lost weight really fast...and she looked great BUT she dint noe when to stop. To her wat he said made such a big impact that she went on losing weight like crazy.... she lost alot of hair.... and confidence as well. Now she noe's she should stop and she did but she's still on diets to maintain her weight.... and she has become such a differet person.... last time she HAD a sense of humour but now.... she's too logical and she is sarcastic it hurts. I mean sarcasm can be the funny type of hurting type..... So I'd advice guys NOT to tell girls they are fat when they wanna reject them.

cutegirlgirl

10-16-2004, 02:37 AM

yeah...i totally agree with what Yuki said...it's really very hurtful to be rejected because ur fat...and it can cause psycological problems too...not that i experienced it but i can picture the situation and how i would feel if it were to happen to me...it is downright nasty to make such comments...i think what that guy was trying to do was to show off....and nothing more than that...to prove to everyone that he has a fine taste and wouldn't be interested in 'fat' girls....if every guy on earth is like that...many girls would be single....i mean i see many 'fat' girls and the really fat type on the streets strolling hand-in-hand with their boyfriends happily...what is important is inner beauty...i know that many guys care about looks...it is the number 1 factor that they look for in a partner....but after that thin layer of outer appearance...what is left is the inner beauty...the real type of beauty that should be seen by everyone. let me ask one question: guys, do u prefer a heartless but pretty gf or an average but beautiful-in-the-inside gf? a heartless gf that doesn't care about you...manipulates u for money, gifts and only thinks about herself(selfish) but pretty...can a guy really be happy with a girl like this? i doubt it...unless they care more about the pride of having a beautiful gf rather than their own personal feelings. i hope i won't meet this type of guy who only cares about outer appearance because i want him to see me for what i am and not only beauty itself...and believe me guys, girls don't and won't like guys like this...

13abygirl

10-16-2004, 03:29 AM

i dunno. i find guys hard to understand, probably same for how guys have hard time understanding females... but every guy is different, so you cant realli understand their actions or their "hints"

hm... in class, we had a discussion bout what was different about girls and guys. all the guys were saying that girls are evil and fight for everything, girls are also bitchy and enjoy backstabbing each other. while guys might have friendly competitions between each other & after a fight or sumdinq, they would be buddies again, but this isnt the case for girls. i was like so offended. & dey said that guys would try 2 bring each other down physically, like beatin one anotehr in a game or sumdinq but girls try 2 break each other down mentally. ~.~

Yuki

10-16-2004, 12:44 PM

Well, thats true.... girls are personally stronger than guys mentally compared to physically so we tend to use that more since we oredi have an upper hand.... and since fighting with other girls physically is meaningless girls will fight mentally. But its also true that when guys fight they become buddies almost instantly but when girls fall out.... well girls DONT fall out without a solid reason.... so if they do then there must have been alot of broken trust or alot of hurtful words involved.... And it isnt true that girls fight for evrything.... we help each other more actually. Like girls vs guys stuff...ahahha

Well.... reason why girls fight mentally with each other is that is harder to make the other girl have some kinda mental break down.... and fighting physically really doesnt have any much meaning to me....

kasic_fantasy

10-16-2004, 05:57 PM

what kinda school is that? allowing kids to watch porn in class? and im 100% against
watching porn with other guys, not that i still watch porn. but watching porn with other
guys is gross, like watching it with ur gf is okay but other guys, thats awkward...

okay about looks, i guess i shouldn't say all the guys, but seriously, most of my friends and ppl in my city, at clubs, bars, school, ugly ppl are the quite ones that dont have much friends, never gone out out dates. And i ALMOST never see fat ugly girls dancing on the dance floor/cages/stages in clubs.

and remember what i said, appearance is what FIRST attracts the opposite sex. But not the
key element in a relationship. The key is still personality.
lol they were like talking about it...watch it secretly during recess time using the dunno what projector....or just bring some comics and mag...so damn hell stupid...got very pissed off....but sometimes they can get into serious matter...they got caught by a teacher once...but then the teacher let them off and actually explain that he let them go coz they are still in puberty...and explain to them that these thins are not good and blah blah blah...they did not give that a damn anyway...

yeah...i totally agree with what Yuki said...it's really very hurtful to be rejected because ur fat...and it can cause psycological problems too...not that i experienced it but i can picture the situation and how i would feel if it were to happen to me...it is downright nasty to make such comments...i think what that guy was trying to do was to show off....and nothing more than that...to prove to everyone that he has a fine taste and wouldn't be interested in 'fat' girls....if every guy on earth is like that...many girls would be single....i mean i see many 'fat' girls and the really fat type on the streets strolling hand-in-hand with their boyfriends happily...what is important is inner beauty...i know that many guys care about looks...it is the number 1 factor that they look for in a partner....but after that thin layer of outer appearance...what is left is the inner beauty...the real type of beauty that should be seen by everyone. let me ask one question: guys, do u prefer a heartless but pretty gf or an average but beautiful-in-the-inside gf? a heartless gf that doesn't care about you...manipulates u for money, gifts and only thinks about herself(selfish) but pretty...can a guy really be happy with a girl like this? i doubt it...unless they care more about the pride of having a beautiful gf rather than their own personal feelings. i hope i won't meet this type of guy who only cares about outer appearance because i want him to see me for what i am and not only beauty itself...and believe me guys, girls don't and won't like guys like this...

yea i hate that too...i personally have that kindda experince....well i'm quite fat in the past actually...and people just judge me with those kind of looks...and i was like...hey wtf...do ya think i want this to?...but then at the end of the day, i just end up hating myself...

but right now...i feel more confident in myself...coz i'm slimmer now... and i feel that what matters more is myself...not what other people says...

Well, thats true.... girls are personally stronger than guys mentally compared to physically so we tend to use that more since we oredi have an upper hand.... and since fighting with other girls physically is meaningless girls will fight mentally. But its also true that when guys fight they become buddies almost instantly but when girls fall out.... well girls DONT fall out without a solid reason.... so if they do then there must have been alot of broken trust or alot of hurtful words involved.... And it isnt true that girls fight for evrything.... we help each other more actually. Like girls vs guys stuff...ahahha

Well.... reason why girls fight mentally with each other is that is harder to make the other girl have some kinda mental break down.... and fighting physically really doesnt have any much meaning to me....
hey thats kindda very very true...i guess its becoz stress and living standards between females are getting more and more high...its like...you will be beautiful if your thin....so everyone was like trying to be the best...and that causes women to fight among themselves...the women i'm refering to means girls still under puberty....and girls dont fight physically...we fight mentally...which may cause physical fight....

Yuki

10-16-2004, 06:23 PM

Whoa.... thats almost the most times anyone has agreed with me.... but ya.... girls actually ask guys whether their fat to get self assurance.... u dont need to lie just say u might be abit overweight but u look perfectly fine. And add the fact you love them the way they are.... and u'll be on the right track...

+.BUTT3RFLII.+

10-17-2004, 03:26 AM

Sometimes,there are time when i just have no clue....they're cool sometime...but then there's time where i dun get a clue wut's they're thinkin

mizannoyingx3

03-21-2006, 07:11 AM

never. :oops: i sometimes "think" i know but then i find out that i'm wrong. :dry:

Jay'sGF_Kristy

04-26-2006, 03:34 PM

kellyc

04-26-2006, 03:43 PM

as much as i love my guy friends and my boyfriend i have to say that they are most deifinately more confusing than girls, no matter what they say!

whatever u want

04-27-2006, 05:04 PM

mmmmmmmmm....sometimes i really didn't understand them
but i still have some very very good boyfriends and i luv them so much ... they help me lots of things !!!
(they are all my friends not my lover.....cuz i haven't had one yet hehe lol)

DragonPrince

05-02-2006, 04:09 AM

Always,I understand them totally. <- My vote

I guess we are all humans and the only way to understand them is to put ourselves in their shoes. I guess I am a little diverse thinking that everyone is humans and nothing greater or lesser. If I don't understand them, I think they are the ones who are either out of the world, or are crazy.

jfanny123

05-03-2006, 06:33 AM

guys are, I got to say are difficult to understand. When they say stuff or stare at you, how the hell can u guess what they are feeling. When they purposly swear or scream at you, but not to others....how would you know if they really hate you or they lyk you jst afraid to show it...as they say always against someone jst means you always think about dem or lyk dem. Guys are srsly diffcult to understand....but im sure, they probably feel the same about gurls. Maybe that is why guys and gurls are attracted to each oda as they both want to understand about each other.....and maybe that is why there is always so much conflict. They are unable to understand what each other truely feel or it might jst be too less converstation between gurls and guys dat has lead to so much uncertainty. Arhh...this issue is complicated......who can truely say they really understand about a person....alll their internal feelings. answer is think is NO ONE.

NovemberRain

05-05-2006, 07:19 AM

what i don't understand are listed below plz answer it boys

1. say if u hav a gf oversea y da hell don't u annoce it....do u know that u could hurt other girls if they have a crush on u??? b/c THAT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!THAT REALLY HURTS
2. y da hell are u sometimes being 'cold and hot' ( thatz a chinese saying which means...sometimes friendly and sometimes not???is it??)
3. can't u just tell the whole world that u hv a gf oversea?????

Well from my personal point of view.

A1: I don't know about this... I don't have a girlfriend overseas, but I assume that the guy isn't really in a serius relationship if he doesn't announce that he has a girlfriend overseas. That's what I think*

A2:Hmm... this is especially true... I used to be 'Hot' with a girl but now I'm 'Cold' with her... sometimes guys become fed up with girls.
In my case I became fed up of that girl because she's too arrogant, sometimes when I talk to her she would just ignore me, but when I messaged her she has so many things to say. Why?? Why?? Girls answer me why lar. Why is she always around other guys but never with me? When I asked her she would say What? Did I? She's crazy, and not being affiliated with her is my best resort, so I became 'Cold' to her. I haven't talked to her for months. No eye contacts even. She even used to backstab me a few times? Why TF? Why me? And when I asked her for the truth all she did was... well she didn't deny, she said she forgot such things happened... Man... she's crazy and I'm fed up, so I became 'Cold' with her.
Damn... if you are like the girl here the only way you can fix it is to talk to the guy again, say 'You're sorry' sincerely... and after that don't go ignoring him again... do that and you'll never be close friends.
Some girls are so stubborn they never want to admit that they are guilty... some guys too... why does this happen? Just be straight forward for God sake.
Sienzzz

A3: I'm not sure about this. But overseas relationship seldom work... yea... I've seen it before... my sister and his boyfriend from Singapore when she was studying there... they seldom contact each other now... sadly... cause he was a nice guy.

crazygiggles13

05-05-2006, 02:02 PM

Sometimes,there are time when i just have no clue.
guys are kinda like girls in some ways...
but yea...i guess some guys are easier to understand than others..but yea...
i dont know! :shy:teehee haha

c_c_

05-20-2006, 09:02 PM

well, it depends I guess, but I understand them most of the time. with the guys that are my friends, well, there's nothing not to understand about them - their somewhat idiotic, but fun to make fun of. haha. what I don't understand about guys is why they are the way they are? like some of them are sooo emo it's not even funny. then there are the ones that like to pick a fight just for the heck of it. and there are the D&D geeks. they're all so different but all unusually simple minded. the good thing about guys is that they won't backstab or anything like friends that are girls will. in a nutshell, guys are dumb, but cool

Well from my personal point of view.
A1: I don't know about this... I don't have a girlfriend overseas, but I assume that the guy isn't really in a serius relationship if he doesn't announce that he has a girlfriend overseas. That's what I think*
A2:Hmm... this is especially true... I used to be 'Hot' with a girl but now I'm 'Cold' with her... sometimes guys become fed up with girls.
In my case I became fed up of that girl because she's too arrogant, sometimes when I talk to her she would just ignore me, but when I messaged her she has so many things to say. Why?? Why?? Girls answer me why lar. Why is she always around other guys but never with me? When I asked her she would say What? Did I? She's crazy, and not being affiliated with her is my best resort, so I became 'Cold' to her. I haven't talked to her for months. No eye contacts even. She even used to backstab me a few times? Why TF? Why me? And when I asked her for the truth all she did was... well she didn't deny, she said she forgot such things happened... Man... she's crazy and I'm fed up, so I became 'Cold' with her.
Damn... if you are like the girl here the only way you can fix it is to talk to the guy again, say 'You're sorry' sincerely... and after that don't go ignoring him again... do that and you'll never be close friends.
Some girls are so stubborn they never want to admit that they are guilty... some guys too... why does this happen? Just be straight forward for God sake.
Sienzzz
A3: I'm not sure about this. But overseas relationship seldom work... yea... I've seen it before... my sister and his boyfriend from Singapore when she was studying there... they seldom contact each other now... sadly... cause he was a nice guy.

about the whole thing about how the girl talks to you on messenger but won't talk to you at school and says bad stuff about you ... well ... a guy friend of mine asked me the same thing about a couple other friends of mine that happen to be girls. it's just the way we are ... I suppose. it's really cause girls have fun making fun of guys and it's easier to talk to people without being face to face. (prime example: this guy I've been enemies with since second grade and I talk quite a lot over the internet) It's odd but true. (not to defend whoever she is)

liliceprincess

05-22-2006, 12:54 AM

ahaha interesting question..
i would have to say taht i would understand them at times but then at other times..they are soo hard to understand -_- its like what are they thinking at times..but with the experience that i have had in my past and present it has gotten easier to understand them

Rurouni[X]

05-24-2006, 07:58 AM

haha for all of you who said guyz are stupid simple creatures that you cant understand and dont understand ur feelings and stuff. then added a "No Offence" to soften tthe blow.. i am VERY offended haha
^^"
Anywayz what is there to understand.. and we're not all rough.. Ok so we might do some stupid things and get into fights... But thats our nature haha
Thanks for the "We're still humans" remark.. much better ^o
Anywayz yeah what is there to understand.
We like you then we act really really stupid and hold ur hand and try to play with your hair and stuff. well im kinda generalising.. ie i dont do that haha.
if I liked you.. which i dont even know you ..
I would be nice haha.. and not do stupid things ^^"
Girlz may be all..... this and that.. but we still have dignity :P
^^"
oO

jayfalc0n

05-24-2006, 01:44 PM

I don't think guys are stupid. Sometimes I think they let their hormones do the thinking instead of their brain, and sometimes they can be mean. But generally a girl is probably more complex.
Sometimes I underestimate them though., I feel that they don't care so much for details as girls do, for example how you are a little shy around your crush compared to other guys, I wouldn't expect guys to notice little minor details like that but some of them do!! and then you feel taken aback and start wondering what else they noticed.
Do I make sense? So guys, do you actually notice the details? I'll give you more examples : how she flips her hair, how she giggles or doesn't giggle, how she looks away when she lies.
DO you read females better than we think?

judes

05-25-2006, 12:08 AM

this is the weirdest question.
i mean i don't understand every boy. i understand my boy and boys who are my friends. how some boys think is a mystery to me.

most of the time i think nervous habits like looking away or flipping your hair when you're nervous is true to some extent but not to such exaggerated ways as shown on tv or in books. if you get to know someone long enough, you'll learn their little habits.

~JLO~

05-29-2006, 05:27 PM

hmmm....i will hav to say that i sometimes do, sometimes i dont, especially wen guys hint stuff...and i hav no clue watsoever on wat theyre on about. and then ur scared to ask them for an straight answer...yeh...
then misunderstandings take place =.=" *sigh*

demiha

06-13-2006, 06:38 PM

Well, everyone would understand everyone better if they just said what they mean. I hat people who go round and round in circles but never get to the point.

shez

06-13-2006, 08:55 PM

guys...... are weird.... i can never seem to get inside their heads....

my friend (who's a guy) was explaining to me how they rate girls in the "buffness" scale and that's when i realised that i think COMPLETELY differently to them....

i like to judge people by character and it's so hard to judge a guy unless you REALLY get to know them emtionally because wow are guys the best actors in the world!!! they keep everything so bottled up and hidden in a place sooo deep inside them that it's extremely hard to get to and yet when you do THEN is when i think i truly know what they are like as a person ^___^

haha hope i haven't babbled much..... :P

Pink_89757

06-15-2006, 05:05 AM

Guyys are so unpredictable... i totally do not understand them sometimes... theyy are so confusing !

Argh... guyys... can't theyy be mores simple and make life easier for us gurls?

snowflake

06-15-2006, 05:27 AM

I think it goes both ways. Guys find girls unfathomable and vice verse.

Sometimes it is depend on the individual then in general. Once you know a person well, you will be able to understand him/her.

So it is more of the “getting-to-know” each other period that will let you have the feeling you don’t understand him/her at all.

I was readin the past posts on appearance and just have to comment on it.

Sadly, appearance does matter in life. So what everyone should do is make yourself presentable. At least be neat and clean. I have seen plump ladies who still look good. One just have to put in effort to look pretty.
This is also a way of loving and cherishing yourself.

Hanzo

06-15-2006, 07:07 PM

snowflake: That's exactly what I had in mind too! It's vice versa, we think girls are unpredictable and girls think the same way too. And yes appearance does matter, you get more attention when you're more presentable.
shez: I'm sure most girls do the same thing too, rate random guys on the streets. When I hangout with my best friends, we always rate random girls, it's fun. Truth is tho, we only really rate the ones we consider "hot". Both guys and girls "act". In fact everyone does to some extent. It's only when you're with your friends that you tend to be yourself.
jayfalc0n: haha yeah we're better than what you think. We can read signs that girls give out. It's easy to tell if a girl likes you, it just depends on the girl, some will see you and then they'll lower and head or avoid looking into your eyes... some will purposely argue with you for no reason at all, because they want your attention... and if you're out with a group of friends and you're talking to another girl, she'll get a little mad and pretend to ignore you etc etc. Most guys do not remember most things girls tell them. I forget a lot of things, even things i've said myself let alone what other ppl said. But sometimes I take note of small details, like what she hates to eat(carrots:dry: ) and which song she has on reply(Cassie-Me & U)... and yeah stuff like that :D

huanhuan

06-17-2006, 10:48 AM

they keep telling lies so we cant understand them..why they always lie to girls..cant they tell the truth??so we know what they want and we can understand each other..i think there a lot af guys doesnt understand girls neither..

shez

06-17-2006, 10:09 PM

Hanzo hahaha my friend has this obsession with a guy and she tells the WHOLE world about it and one day it'll spread to him and she's going to regret ever telling anyone..... see me, i hardly tell anyone unless they bully it out of me :P

dreamer_me

07-17-2006, 12:33 PM

I understand boys ( sometime ). But I have a lot of guy friends too. They are fun to hang out with. Some are weird but you will get use to their ways.

milkee_glitz

07-17-2006, 12:49 PM

Haha.. I picked sometimes, but sometimes I dont understand what they're getting at. I mean, sometimes guys can be really cool when they play with you or joke with you, but sometimes when they're busy trying to impress us girls, they reallt resort to those kinda stupid, dumb tricks.. I really dont know why..

chineseguyjl

07-17-2006, 01:25 PM

this is very interesting... first i thought that girls understand guys more than guys understand girls simply because guys are more simple and dont care that much about almost anything. and to me the only reason that guys try to impress girls is to get into their pants.

just my opinion

Beryl-Luv-Jay

07-17-2006, 05:25 PM

Guys is really sick sometimes...i hate them especially when they think they are so cool...putting up their faces with attitude...oh c'mon !

jiali

07-23-2006, 06:02 PM

I really can't understand why some guys like to pull our pony tail, insult or irritate us on purpose to get our attention if they like us. I mean, haven't they thought that these actions might just make us dislike them or something?

There are always better ways to gain our attention rather than those childish ways. For eg - engaging in a casual conversation as a group to start things off, then slowly show your sense of humour or charisma or talent or whatsoever..

Hanzo

07-24-2006, 05:06 PM

jiali: sometimes we insult and irritate girls because we don't like them. It's a way to tell the girl that we're not interested... but u're right, sometimes it's to get the attention of the girl that we like :D

sam_ho

07-25-2006, 01:26 AM

Guys, (meaning no offense to them!!) have no clue when they have to comfort you. I mean, they don't know when you are heartbroken, mad, etc. They just dont understand what you feel!! But sometimes, I get them...SOMETIMES.

judes

07-25-2006, 07:50 PM

jiali: it depends on the guy i think. i mean if you're super clingy and annoying a lot of guys wouldn't actually break up with you but try to piss you off so you would go away.

but i think sometimes it's a way of flirting, like hanzo said.
the more my boyfriend got to know me and the closer he is to me, the more he tries to find ways to piss me off. and i do it to him too. so maybe it's a fun thing i don't know.

Liniyia

07-25-2006, 10:03 PM

Let me just say that guys are less complicated than girls, and therefore, I understand then more often than I understand girls.

Sad that I don't even understand my own gender, but oh well.

Jay'sGF_Kristy

08-01-2006, 12:24 PM

Tonwah

08-01-2006, 06:05 PM

Sometimes I really think boys are better than girls.

But there are sometimes that I don't really get it. Like for example, about having a fight from just a "step on others feet" accidentally. I mean sometimes they just make a small problem alot bigger and worse.

Hanzo

08-01-2006, 07:21 PM

i jus wanna ask why guys only talk to a girl when they are alone and ignored her in public and not making an effort of talking to her???? guys plz answer!!!! it 's weird how guy talk endlessly with the girl when alone and not talk to her AT ALL in public....??? where ppl. are around..tell me y>>>>> asap

um i'm sorry to say this but that's a bad sign....

1. not talking to ur girl in public is a sign that you don't want others to know you are together, main reason is you're ashamed of being together with her.

2. if he introduces you by name to his friends, "hi, this is sarah" instead of "hi, this is my girlfriend sarah" something is wrong there as well.

3. he might just not like being social in public, he wants to keep the sweet talk in the bedroom haha.

Jay'sGF_Kristy

08-02-2006, 10:13 AM

um i'm sorry to say this but that's a bad sign....
1. not talking to ur girl in public is a sign that you don't want others to know you are together, main reason is you're ashamed of being together with her.
2. if he introduces you by name to his friends, "hi, this is sarah" instead of "hi, this is my girlfriend sarah" something is wrong there as well.
3. he might just not like being social in public, he wants to keep the sweet talk in the bedroom haha.

we are NOT in a relationship!!!! what i meant was that he ONLY talks to me when we were alone.....and when i tried to talk to him again he doesn't respond!!!!..why??? since we are NOT in A RELATIONSHIP>>>

cpxsally

05-07-2007, 07:39 PM

hmm. i dont understand them all that much, but i understand them enough to be good firneds w/ them. for me, its how i understand certain guys on a personal level .. i can't really answer if i understand guys in general.. but i get along better w/ males because i feel that tehy're easier to talk to and .. not as 'dramatic' as women. haha

we are NOT in a relationship!!!! what i meant was that he ONLY talks to me when we were alone.....and when i tried to talk to him again he doesn't respond!!!!..why??? since we are NOT in A RELATIONSHIP>>>

maybe 'cause he wants too look all 'mannish' in out in public and hang out with 'the guys' and stuff, so he pays less attention to you? iono

SilentGriever

05-08-2007, 01:47 AM

we are NOT in a relationship!!!! what i meant was that he ONLY talks to me when we were alone.....and when i tried to talk to him again he doesn't respond!!!!..why??? since we are NOT in A RELATIONSHIP>>>

Are you guys kinda close in some sort of way? It also depends on your own personality, because I can sometimes do the same thing for certain people. One of the reasons I have seen to do so is because the person in particular does not talk that much, so I figure that chatting with them in public would be taking them out of their comfort zone, something that I try to keep in mind when talking to people with such personalities.

Um, the other reason may be that (This is why I asked the first question) the person likes you.

not talking to ur girl in public is a sign that you don't want others to know you are together

Kinda like that, except the point of it is that the person you are talking about just doesn't want anyone to know that he likes you, because he might get embarassed or something like that. Of course, if the first question was "no", then you can disregard the second reason altogether.

ghettosushi713

05-10-2007, 09:25 PM

aaaaaaaahahhaha i luv the results on this poll XD
guys always say that they dont understand us
yet we dont understand them a lotta times too
like they can be just as concieted as we can be =)

jazlyn87

11-10-2008, 11:21 AM

i picked the second one .. sometimes i don't quite have a clue ..

i don't have a lot of male friends so i dunno much about the opposite sex .. but based on what i read and what i heard and observe .. i sort of know ..

at the same time, i am a fan of romance, i 'research' on relationships and the opposite sex ..

and usually my friends would come and ask my opinion about relationships .. usually my analyze is correct ..

just that some guys are not the the typical guy who could be unpredictable ..

Darkshrimp

11-10-2008, 11:26 AM

guys are always different when they are with a group of friends or when they are alone.

They need to be fit into the group which they are in, you gota be all tough and stuff, haha :P so talking nicely to a girl doesn't really follow that.

"Bros before hoes" as they always say

so it's very normal for a guy to be different when they are with a group of people. As to he completely stops talking to you, that's just weird.

I'm not speaking for all the guys out there, but that's just what i think. Although my friends are generally not that kind :) haha

also, sometimes when a guy likes the girl, then he is just too scared to talk to the girl when they are infront of other people.

chineseguyjl

11-10-2008, 11:58 AM

"bros before hoes" huh? theres also "booty comes first"
these appear in the Man Laws. everything depends on the situations.
my favorite is Man Law 27A: A man must acknowledge another man's passing of gas in a good manner such as a high-five, a "yeah", a clap, or a laugh and never in a bad manner (this is referred to as /fail in the Man Code of Conduct).

tazhs

11-10-2008, 04:13 PM

question: why do guys always fall for pretty girls? even if she's not the most pleasant person around?
question: why do guys tease girls, even if they like them?
question: why do guys act cool in front of girls? to impress them??

alisadorsey@yahoo.co

07-31-2009, 12:46 AM

Nope. Good luck! I have been in this world for over 30 years, and I have to say, can't understand them if I wanted to. Yes, I talk a good game, but honestly I have no clue. If you find out the answer please fill me right in. Inquiring minds want to know also. Sometimes I think I get a guy, but then he gets all spacy or conveniently complexed. So when complexity sets in, I usually have a hard time being focused on him anymore. So if any of you girls understand guys (men), please feel free to give me some pointers. You are never too old to take on advice from someone younger. Maybe I am doing something wrong that maybe their attention just strays away. So bring on the advice, then maybe things will go a little better without too much complexity. Just would like to find the right guy before I get old and gray.

Peach_happo

08-08-2009, 01:30 PM

Hm... I guess only sometimes :)

But honestly, boys aren't that hard to understand(as some others have claimed). They really are most of the time, really simple humans. Its mainly girls that think deeper about a boy's speeches and acts.

Its in my opinion, much better to have guy friends than girl friends.

question: why do guys always fall for pretty girls? even if she's not the most pleasant person around?

1. It's the same deal with girls "falling in love" with hot guys. In reality, all(if not, most) human beings are shallow.
2. Cos its not really love, just pure attraction to someone. Its the same concept when you hear a song with a catchy melody/rhythm.

question: why do guys tease girls, even if they like them?

So the girl perhaps, gives them attention? May sound stupid to girls but like I said, guys are simple-minded. They do what comes in mind.

question: why do guys act cool in front of girls? to impress them??

You've basically just answered your own question:)