Your Views On Marriage

[SimpleBlackHumor89]

i was just wondering on what you guys think on marriage? i mean do you guys feel its' neccesary to get married in life. and for girls did u guys grow up fantasizing and planning your wedding.. cos i don think i ever did even fantasize about my wedding :?

i dont really think marriage is neccesary. i mean why do you need to tell tha law and sign a piece of paper to profess your love. im not sayn that it's bad, but it's not really neccesary. cos tha other day my grandma was telln me how im gon grow up and get married.

i think it's easier to just live with your boyfriend and have child. i kno there's like divorce, how tha husband cant just leave u and ur child... but that's where we hav to trust our guts and see if he or she is tha one.

[littleasian]

i think in most countries..the concept of "Marriage" is considered sacred. Once you form a union betwen the man/woman, hardly anything can destroy that. However, i think if you take a look at the United States, this concept has been destroyed. I believe that now in the US the marriage rate is lower than the divorce rate (not sure though).

What does this mean? I think it signifies that the younger generation (lets call them Generation Y), feeling pressured and want to be more rebellious, don't like the idea of being tied down to one person. I think this idea is prevalent in many movies...the idea is sex is so widespread here in America that marriage isn't even considered most of the time. This concept of "love" is easily broken for example, if a man see's another woman thats better looking (physical looks DO matter).

While i still consider marriage as something that is pure, the ideas of many young men and women are tarnishing its reputation (see underage marriage --> pregnancies)

[scarletwillow]

Note: This post will potentially piss off some people :)

Well, you can't say the marriage rate is lower than the divorce rate. After all, you have to be married to be divorced, right? Therefor, the marriage rate will always be higher than the divorce rate. I believe the divorce rate in the USA is 45%... which is absolutely hideous.

Here's the part that's gonna piss people off. Much of it I blame on the growing feminist movement. That's not to say there aren't husbands who are assholes, because there have always been those kinds of people, and there still will be. Rather, circumstances now permit, and even glorify the single woman or single mother, making it less taboo for women to file for divorce. Just a few decades ago, that wasn't the case--hence, it's not that people are getting more and more dissatisfied with their mates... it's just that they don't care for customs anymore and seek their own ideals.

I'm a big proponent of women's rights as well as the ability to choose. Certainly, if there is an excrutiating circumstance of incompatibility, divorce should be answer, but only the last answer, especially when children are involved. In this light, it'd be wonderful if young people could pick their mates a lot more wisely.

Although, the future is looking bleak. I've mentioned this many times before, but if people half as old as me are getting into relationships, none of which have any sort of merit, I'm predicting the divorce rate to go even higher.

[mad_doi]

well asians...or at least my family tree at least hehe was never legally married. for most of us we just have the ceremony but theres no papers involved.

i think ppl would think a little negative of you if live w ur bf and have a child w/o marrying. i would too a little. it seems like the child was accident n u guys r stuck together. bad thing. it just seems not as serious a relationship if ur not married. there just needs to b some kind of event to tell the ppl that u guys together. thats how old ppl r. im only 19 ( :angel: turning 20 soon) and my old relatives r askin when im gonna get married already.

ppl should get divorced though if the relationship is horrible. my aunts refuse to divorce their husbands even though they rather sacrifice their own lives. its ridiculous. especially when ppl stick together for the kids. i hate that. it just makes things worse.

[scarletwillow]

well asians...or at least my family tree at least hehe was never legally married. for most of us we just have the ceremony but theres no papers involved.

i think ppl would think a little negative of you if live w ur bf and have a child w/o marrying. i would too a little. it seems like the child was accident n u guys r stuck together. bad thing. it just seems not as serious a relationship if ur not married. there just needs to b some kind of event to tell the ppl that u guys together. thats how old ppl r. im only 19 ( :angel: turning 20 soon) and my old relatives r askin when im gonna get married already.

ppl should get divorced though if the relationship is horrible. my aunts refuse to divorce their husbands even though they rather sacrifice their own lives. its ridiculous. especially when ppl stick together for the kids. i hate that. it just makes things worse.

I disagree with you there.
If the child is in his development period (1-9) , it's vital that there be two parents there to care for the child. The consequences of having one parent in a two-parent world is devastating to most children.

[bee]

for girls did u guys grow up fantasizing and planning your wedding.. cos i don think i ever did even fantasize about my wedding :?

its said that most girls fantasize about their future weddings, but like you, i never have. in fact i think i always said i wouldnt get married :rolleyes:

having a child and not being married, in the eyes of society isnt accepted, however common it may be. and in that case i think its better to be "chained down" then no one can leave the child with a single parent, to suffer.

if i were to get married i dont think i could ever get divorced if i had a child. my mom made a vow that she would never get divorced also. it's like bringing dishonor to oneself and the family. however since, as willy said, young people arent always making the best decisions in the choosing of a mate, right now i would consider avoiding marriage altogether :worry: but i still wouldnt live with my boyfriend, that isn't right to me either.

:wacko:

[raerei]

I disagree with you there.
If the child is in his development period (1-9) , it's vital that there be two parents there to care for the child. The consequences of having one parent in a two-parent world is devastating to most children.

I agree with you.
Children need care, and need their parents. If their parents aren't there for them, then they won't ever know what it feels like to have 2 parents there, a mom and a dad.
But true... if the parents are arguing and getting physical, it might be best to leave it alone.
It could cause very painful memories for children and they would get hurt mentally as well as physically.

About weddings, I've never fantasized about it. Sure, I might get married someday, if I meet a really really really good person that is right for me. But I don't think it's a thing that needs to be done. And for people that do not wish to get married, I don't think that's bad either. It just depends on the person.

[scarletwillow]

Yeah... parents arguing in front of children is a very venomous thing.
I hate it when my parents argue in front of my brother... he just sits there and watches them without talking. I usually have to get in and stop the argument, even if it means telling them both to shut up (which results in my dad yelling a string of cusswords at me with possible hitting)... but even still, it's worth it.

That's one of the things that hurts most. Even if you have to put on a facade for your children and let them find out about it when they've grown up, they would just be mad. Being mad is an emotion... but if you're left without both parents while growing up, it's not just an emotion--it's your personality.

On weddings:
Girls fantasize about weddings.
Boys fantasize about honeymoons.

[mad_doi]

im still traumatized from my parents. :worry:

its hard see ur parents together when one of them wants to leave but cant. especially when they say they cant leave cause of the kid. it makes it sound like its the kids fault. single families r hard but do-able. its better to just have one parent when u kno together theyre always gonna fite.

if theyre gonna fite at least have the kids b somewhere they cant hear it. i got bad memories cause i always around. puttin an act around ur kids seems too disillusional. i rather have my parents live separate lives then have all of us live a fake happy life.

[Dong Feng Puo]

In the past few years, I've noticed that more and more ppl of our generation are tossing the idea of marriage as an eventual and necessary part of life. Personally, I never saw marriage as a necessary part of life, but I do think of it as an eventual part of life. By all means, eventual is not everlasting. I just think somewhere along the way, most of us will meet someone with whom we would engage in a "marriage." And I don't really think of marriage as that piece of paper. I think two ppl can be married by their mutual will to commit to each other--w/o the legal and traditional procedures. When we look at 2 ppl who have been together for years, we often say "they might as well be married." To me, they are. :tongue:

[Pugwash]

In my opinion, the difference two biggest differences between marriage and a relationship is that, in a marriage you are committing yourself to a spouse for basically, life. The biggest difference and probably the most important is that in a marriage you are consideration kids too.

[littleasian]

On weddings:
Girls fantasize about weddings.
Boys fantasize about honeymoons.

lol...i dont think its so much about "honeymoons" as what they do during their honeymoon (see where im goin? :brows: )

but ya...in my opinion divorce is the WORST thing you can put a child through. My parents have divorced, and the aftermath as a result of it is devastating. Its hard to live when you have 2 parents that want different things for you. After divorce, the child tends to live with the mother (though with the father is also common). However, THE MOMENT THE CHILD STARTS LIVING WITHOUT THE OTHER PARENT, he immediately starts to be come detached from the other parent (this i speak from true experience).

You become closer to the one that you live with (typically the parental one..the mother). Without both influences in a childs life (the mother brings compassion and empathy, the father brings strength and confidence), the child will find himself in situations where he will not be able to cope with.

I dont know if its just me, but because my parents are seperated, it physically hurts me when i see other kids with their parents that are together. You jsut think...why couldn't my parents be like that right?

in short, people who marry (and who decide to have kids) have a responsibility to care for their childs in ANY WAY possible, even if it means sacrificing some part of yourself. If you decide to marry and have a kid, than back out its pointless.

[linny]

its hard see ur parents together when one of them wants to leave but cant. especially when they say they cant leave cause of the kid. it makes it sound like its the kids fault. single families r hard but do-able. its better to just have one parent when u kno together theyre always gonna fite.

This I can second from experience. It is the most horrible feeling in the world to see two people put on a facade of being together when there is no love, barely even friendship. I can understand seeing parents fight with each other because people always fight with each other. As long as there is trust and love beneath that fighting, things will work out. If that love has deteriorated... well, there's nothing left. Can you imagine being a child growing up in an environment where the only example you have of marriage is fighting?

As for marriage, I don't think it's necessary in life. I know quite a few people who have never married and have been perfectly happy. It's just, if people plan on having children, I pray they spend many years with their partner before deciding to get married and eventually having children.

Marriage in my eyes is a very important commitment. I think if I were to find someone that I could spend my life with and not kill by the end of it, I would want to get married. It's not just professing my love to the world, it's solidifying it, confirming it, making it something real and something that I will be held accountable for.

Which is all the more reason to make a wise choice when getting married.

[HaNaBi]

I think this thread will really have alot of conflicts, as we have members from different cultures like Asian, Western etc etc.

Girls, most of them will fantasize about getting married with the guy of their dream, wearing the most beautiful gown, having the grandest ceremony etc etc, after which living happily ever after.

In my country, Singapore, which is Asian Culture, for me is Chinese Culture. we see Marriage as something sacred, something which is two person coming together, living together, and their marriage is witnessed by "Heaven & Earth". We, Chinese see marriage as something which is a very important phrase in one's life, and we chinese place great emphasis on it. We like to make it noisy, loud and cheery. Everything on that day will be Striking RED, and everyone will give their blessings the bride and groom happily ever after and wishing them with lots of sons and grandsons.

For me, my option of Marriage is something I wish to experience, as a marriage is like a brand new chapter in one's life. To me, Marriage is very sacred and very important and it is a must to get married at some point of time in my life time, due to my upbringing and environment i grew up in. Right now, I already have a so-called "Marriage savings" :D

But since Singapore is influenced by Asian Culture, so our mind set about Marriage is still very conservative. And we don't fool around with things like "Marriage". But ever since our society opened up, we are slowly influenced by other Cultures and also more and more people are getting higher educations and placing more focus on personal careers and personal satisfactions. So, very naturally, people will begin to think that Marriage isn't that important and not a "MUST HAVE". But, eventually, I still feel that at some point of time, people will still want to find a life-partner to settle down, after working so hard for so many years. Still whether, marriage is something important or not it's up to one to decide. And I think that we should respect them for that .PEACE

[SimpleBlackHumor89]

haha how cute hanabi a marriage savings!

well i must be weird cos i've never fantasized about my wedding.. i grew up not wanting to get married. i mean a bf and gf can easily have a child right. they dont need to sign a paper or whatever to do it. if they talk about it, and think they're ready for one go for it.

and since my mom wanted a divorce from my dad when me and my sis were small, she wouldnt leave so we begged and she stayed for us. but everything's cool now. but almost everyday she has a lil fight with my dad, that im just so used to it. they dont sleep in tha same room. my mom just yells at my dad, my dad is alot more nicer so he takes it.. luckily. but when they're in a good mood and are actually talking and being gushy, i get really uncomfortable....

and my mom always told me that it's better not to be married, but i can still hav a child. which i think is an easier option

[scarletwillow]

SimpleBlackHumor... This is the cold, hard, sad truth:
A child without marriage will certainly grounds to be rejected in today's society. Even though people with that mindset are growing--and no matter how devoted they may be to their lives, "unmarried with children" is simply an negative indicator. I'm not saying that those people can't be good, or that they aren't worth anything. Society says that, though.

Though you may feel empowered by such freedoms, you must keep in mind many things--how will your children grow up, knowing that their parents didn't want to get married, yet everyone else's parents are happily married? What will be the bind that will keep you and your mate together... love? If that's the case, love may be the very thin, very crossable line that can lead up to a breakup.

Even parents who object one another are better than a single parent.
When my dad lived in another city (he just got a new, higher-paying job, I had to finish 6th grade before my mom, my brother, and I would move in with him again)...
Almost a month after he left, I went from being a straight-A student with local, state, and national honors to a kid that beat the shit out of people at school, skipped school, and failed every single one of my classes. When my dad found out about that, he started driving 4 hours every day just to come home for the night and go back to work the next morning.

There's a reason that nearly every culture on this planet has some sort of marriage rite. I believe I read somewhere... not sure if it was this forum or not, but only one culture, a group of people in China, don't have any sort of marriage. Humans, not God, created this union. It's been active for thousands of years. Scientific research has shown that it may even be linked to genes (more accurately, fidelity is linked to genes).

None of what I just said will probably be true of this generation in this country USA, when we are of age. But there will *always* be people fighting for the old morality.

[Sha]

I think marriage can be very precious and loving but only with the right person. I've seen how nurturing it can be by example of my own parents and I've seen how it can destroy you and your children by example of some my friends who's parents are divorced.

I don't think it's right to marry when you're so young cause I don't believe you'd be old and mature enough to understand the sacrifices it would need and the level of not just recieving but also giving.

If people marry just by impulse or the spur-of-the-moment without really thinking it over, then the sanctity of marriage is violated. And that if you're uncertain then you shouldn't marry that person cause that uncertainty is not going to go away.

I'll never settle for anything less than what my parents have cause I've seen just how rewarding and worthwhile it can be. That's why I don't respect these stars who marry for a day or a week or a year - Jennifer Lopez (hello?! Is anyone home?), Britney Spears, Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra etc.

You'd think that if you're famous, you'd try to set an example, not carry on like an idiot. That's why I think many people my age no longer see the sacredness of marriage, it's just something to pass the time or boredom with them.

[Vicluva]

I don't want to sound like the typical naive girl who wants to get married and live happily ever after, but i do plan on getting married and having kids one day. i guess maybe it's in the way we're brought up? my parents are so close to each other and i've just been showered with so much love ever since i was born and seeing my parents so happy makes me want that for myself someday too.
but i dont think it'd be right to marry too young because i dont think we're quite ready for marriage and we probably havent gotten to know the person properly. of course this doesnt apply to everyone.
like what Sha said, i hate reading news about the latest divorce between two hollywood superstars who have been married for a month. marriage is a beautiful, sacred thing and they're just making it ordinary and showing the world that's it's 'ok' to get divorced.
im not saying divorce is a bad thing, but you shouldnt take it lightly.

as for children, i'd love to have some someday when i'm mature enough and ready, and i would like them to have as happy a childhood as i've had. i wouldnt like to have too old though, because then it might be harder for me to connect to them with such a huge age difference. also, i was doing a science project today and i discovered that women who have their first child at an early age (before 30) are less likely to be at risk of breast cancer and the more you have, the more protection you have :D

[panda_shine]

Hmm I personally view marriage as a very important, and precious thing because it's like another, level of being in love that leads to having kids etc. I am sure nowadays, lots of couples have kids before they get married etc etc, but my views on marriage is also related to the environment I was brought up in so I have strong belief in marriage. As for divorce, I guess it's something that you hope will never happen to you but I guess sometimes you have no choice when certain things just don't work out. Choosing the right partner is a very very important .. and should be carefully thought out before you make a decision.

I think I've always wanted to get married.. ever since I was little. I remember always thinking, I want to get married one day, and have kids and live happily ever after. Hah, I am so simple minded. :shy: And I remember I use to talk to my gal friends about where we would get married, wedding song.. and how many kids and what their names would be LOL... and we also saw marriage as a very important thing and it's meant to be once in a lifetime type of thing...

But I think lately my point of views on marriage has changed because of the fact that my priorities and goals have changed. I don't really care about a marriage as much ... it sounds wrong but I want a child more than a husband.. :? :worry:

Yue: I am not sure about that theory ... about the more kids you have, the more protection you'll have against breast cancer.. coz my Grandmother had 7 kids.. and she was diseased with breast cancer. =(

[aina]

In my country, Singapore, which is Asian Culture, for me is Chinese Culture. we see Marriage as something sacred
yup, in Indonesia, marriage is considered as something sacred too.

A child without marriage will certainly grounds to be rejected in today's society. Even though people with that mindset are growing--and no matter how devoted they may be to their lives, "unmarried with children" is simply an negative indicator. I'm not saying that those people can't be good, or that they aren't worth anything. Society says that, though.
I totally agree with this. No matter how nice the people is, society will see that as a taboo thing. In Indonesia, pre-marriage sex is also considered as a taboo thing. Once you do that, you will never get respect from others no matter how regretful you are.

I want to get married one day...and have kids. I want only one marriage, one husband, lots of kids :bleh:
but before the marriage, i want to be full-prepared, physically and mentally also financially. I don't wanna be like my sister who get married even though she's mentally and physically not prepared. She can't cook, she still act childish...no no, i don't want to be like that.

One thing that i'm afraid of marriage is that i will able to see the worst of my husband, and afraid that something will be changed after marriage (attitude, minds, etc). That's why it's better for us to know the worst of our boyfriend/girlfriend before the marriage.

About divorce, geee...i can't imagine what will happen to my life if i get divorced...i hope not. I don't even want to think about that. Divorce is okay if that's only the way to solve problem.
Divorce can be avoided by preparing yourself as good as you can before get married...
Many marriages failed because financial problem, many couples get married only because they were on fire and didn't think about major things that important in marriage. sorry to say but, i think that's stupid.

[yukiko]

i think marriage is not a must thing. i mean, we have to have a marriage if we find someone we love n love us. n if only he/she is the one n only in ur heart.
for me, i thin k i wont have a marriage if i dun find someone i wanna spend my whole life with. n all i need is a man who can do anything for me. coz in my life, i've not yet find some man who good in most thing. they r useless in my pov. *point of viewing*

[freebird_brown]

marriage of course isn't a must. a lot of people never marry. but the point of marraige is a public declaration that the two of you are bound to each other. the only reason why people these days are throwin out marriage is becuase society has ruined the sacredness of it through divorce and unsuccessful marriages. and i think a lot of people are scared of commitment.
so, if you really love someone, it's not a must to marry. but i'd suggest it so that the two of you can have a legal joining and a i guess ritual to say that you are bound to each other.
i think that a lot of people don't realize that marriage--well, all relationships--is work. there is no one on earth that will be perfect all the time. you aren't perfect, so don't raise ur expectations to someone who is "perfect."

[jAYcHOus#1 fAN]

maybe i dream a lil too much...but wen i was lil i wanted to wear a cinderella dress thing for my weddin and invite lots of ppl...and like hav a really hot husband and all...i wanted the perfect weddin anyone could thing of...i still kinda want that now but im not thinkin that far yet

[wkhwa]

For me marriage ranks high on the list of life's most important events. Based on the nature of the plans for marriage and how they are fufilled, the lives of two persons may be successful and rewarding or, if their marriage works out unfavorably, disappointing and full of regret. In very few of life's affairs is there so much at stake - perhaps in none at all, except code of ethics and morals.

Life, to be enjoyed to the full, must be shared. Marriage provies for the blending of two lives. Therefore, dealing as it does with sharing life, marriage calls for reciprocal respect by the marriage partners. They must accept each other as equals and must cultivate an attitude of deference towards each other. Neither must dominate, neither must require the other to sacrifce his individuality.

[ftlouiea]

Like freebird said, I don't see marriage as the must-have for each successful relationship now.

Where a marriage used to be an essential thing to a relationship between man and woman, otherwise, prior to that, the man and woman would not be allowed to contact each other in person etc. I dont see that this applies to modern day. This also applies to sexual relationships as today, most of the world are so open to each others thoughts, and do not follow strict tradtions (apart from some asian countries), marriage is basically like an accessory. People can carry on without it. Its just that people still like to believe in the fairytale wedding and so on. My view.

[friends_pt]

Well i think tat marriage in the 21st century is no longer a guarantee of lifetime happy family... u can hardly find a guy or girl who is willing to take up this challenge to be together forever n nt reject temptation tat easily... but i still believe tat it takes time for one to mature n accept the fact tat one can resist temptation...

[swtaznkandi]

i'm catholic so i believe marriage is very sacred and not to be taken lightly. i definitely plan to get married, and in the event that my husband wants a divorce - knock on wood - i would use EVERYTHING within my power to prevent it. to me, marriage is special in that unites two people and allows them to continue life as one. that bond should be very very strong, so i have a lot of disdain for celebs who marry and divorce as if it were nothing.

[Chadd]

Marriage, i think it's a sacred thing that's been practiced for many many years since ancient times. Every culture has its own way of marriage. It's a union between two people who love each other and are very commited.
I am asian and i am a bit old fashion in some ways so i consider marriage to be important. Not because of a piece of paper that the law give so when you get divorced, you are basically guaranteed 50% of assets. It's important because it's a celebration of you and your partner's love that you both share with families and friends. Marriage doesn't have to be a big expensive wedding although these days some people are going all out with it and spend lots of money. I guess it's something to do with having face.
Marriage shouldn't be something you do just because you feel like it and then a few months later decides to get divorced. It seems so easy to do these days (look at Hollywood stars). It's things like this that makes marriage seem not important.
I know i will definitely get married when my time comes. :-)

[vicks]

i'm really traditional so i wanna get married, have kids, be like one of those couples who are in their 80's and are still holding hands. and i've fantasized about the wedding.. the dress, the cake, etc etc

but i don't htink marriage is for everyone. and people rush into it way too fast. but i don't think divorce is necessarily a bad thing. i mean, for bruce and demi, they're neighbors and on really good terms (and i think aston's gonna screw up the kids and put them in a lifetime of psychotherapy) but i think that situation is way better than kids watching their parents fight all the time.

[kasic_fantasy]

to me...marriage is like a settlement for me..i mean...when one has reached a state of life when he or she needs to settle down,then maybe marriage is what they need...but thats to me...of course,you gotta find the right one first....
well i did thought of what kinda wedding i wanted...i hope my wedding will be held in a old castle's backyard garden...and everyone will wear gowns and suits...everything will be very simple...yet special and elegant... :rolleyes: ...hmm...how cool would that be man.... :D

[freebird_brown]

in the event that my husband wants a divorce - knock on wood - i would use EVERYTHING within my power to prevent it. to me, marriage is special in that unites two people and allows them to continue life as one. that bond should be very very strong, so i have a lot of disdain for celebs who marry and divorce as if it were nothing.
i think this is so wise. marriage should be preserved. society today has this misconception that divorce is ok. i don't think it is. i think that people should do everything in their power to stop divorce. so swtaznkandi, that's awesome you think that way.

[hisashi]

But what's the use of being married to a guy who doesn't love you anymore? That's the most extreme case. What if he comes back home with a straight face, doesn't make love to him and didn't even want to talk to you! Do you think u can stay in the relationship with your husband?

People have different expections in marriages and they thought they have married to the most wonderful guy/girl in the world but just because of some differences in lifestyle etc. It can lead to divorces. I think communication in a relationship is still the most important.

[Alias]

I disagree with you there.
If the child is in his development period (1-9) , it's vital that there be two parents there to care for the child. The consequences of having one parent in a two-parent world is devastating to most children.


for me i really think that it depends on the quality of their lies. There is no use that the parents stay together but fight everyday endlessly :?

sometimes, if the parents are mature enough, they may be able to bring up the kids more successfully if they are apart. of coz it takes a lot of effort to stays friends after divorce. But if its done correctly and maturely, i believe its better for the kids. Its doing them no good if both the parents are not happy and just staying together for the sake of their kids.

who knows?? the kids may grow up thinking that its their fault that their parents are unhappy?

therefore im a big advocate for be sure of your partner before you get marry!!!! There is no point hurrying into something and bring innocent lives into the world and then get a divorce!!!

[ClicketyClam]

well i was thinking about what swtaznkandi said, and IF your husband did want a divorce, why would you do anything you could to prevent it? if he wants to leave its not really in your power to control him and if you try to that might just make him even more distant. or the other possiblity is that he may feel like he is contantly under your control? (i don't mean to make you a control freak but im just stating the possiblities) even if you could stop him from going through with the divorce, how do you know that one day he won't just get up and leave and then never come back? as much as i agree that marriage should be preserved, i don't know what i would do in that situation rather than talk and think it over for a bit and then choose whatever seems to be the best choice for both of our futures.

[judes]

like people before me have said, it depends on if they have children.
i think that a divorce is the last possible resort, as in, if there is physical, mental abuse going on within the marriage, infidelity, or substance abuse, and you have exhausted all possibilities, such as marriage counselling, or a separation for a brief period of time.
then in that case, if you have no children, then it's better if you part ways.
if you do have children though, they also have to consider the child's mindset. it's difficult growing up in a household with single parents, true, but i think it will be worse if you watch your father backhand your mother every night, or have your mother pass out on the couch from drinking each afternoon.
and i doubt you can force somebody you are married to to stay with you. you may use every means possible, but in the end, is it better for both of you to stay together? if one of you is unhappy and the other is trying to leave?
--
and on the topic of what i think about marriage, i believe that it's good to really get to know your partner before you get married. i don't think i will marry someone who is a different faith than me, and i will not marry someone who has a different viewpoint on very important things (political extremes, how to raise children, money, running the household) i mean, you have to come clean about previous loves, sexual experiences, and you have to take STD tests, etc.

this may sound narrowminded that i want someone who has the same beliefs as i have, but i believe that without these beliefs to back your marriage up, you will end up quarreling over these essential aspects of a couple's lives.

i'm not one of those girls who dream about their wedding days actually.
the wedding doesn't matter to me, the honeymoon doesn't matter to me, as long as we have relatively smooth sailing for the rest of our lives. or, perhaps that's too optimistic, but as long as i marry a man i can respect, i can talk to, and will treat me with equal respect in return.