[Poetry Contest] Winner hisashiluv14! Congrats!

[jayx8318x]

I understand you might like more than one entry, so that's why you can submit a rating for each poem. Go here:

http://www.jay-chou.org/contest/poetrycontest.htm

[list=1:66ad28a469]
[*:66ad28a469]Then just rate the poems on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being best (there are instructions in the bottom orange box)

[*:66ad28a469]You don't have to rate them all, just do it at your leisure.

[*:66ad28a469]You can also make a reply here on which one(s) you like, a few sentences on why you liked it, etc.

[*:66ad28a469]This ends March 1, 2004. A winner will be announced then.
[/list:o:66ad28a469]

[JianDan[Ai]]

i would like to say that everyone did a great job. I could never write anything even remotely good =/ so i admire all of your guy's courage...and of course good poetry skills ^^

ill be back later to edit in comments to all of your poems ^^ you all did great ^^

--

Viv
haha a very funny poem, i think the only one in this group that wasnt about love or something like that. Haha it was very funny, reminds me of the nights b4 my essays are due =P

Jo
Man, what can you not do? u can draw and write poem? what else can u do that i dunno about? haha for some reason...i really really liked that last verse..haha, good stuff ^^

Kahel
im a lazy reader, so i liked shorter poems =P haha but no really, i liked your poem a lot ^^ it was short and had that repitition, one of the few poems i actually read out loud cuz i liked how it sounded so much ^^

fat_penguin
haha that sounds just like a Jay song =P it really good ^^ haha and i know how hard it is to keep the rhyme scheme going, and i think u did a really great job ^^ something i could definetly never do

.VaN.
I loved this poem too, its another one i read out loud cuz i thought it sounded good ^^ it had a funny rhyming scheme, but thats what makes it so interesting, good job ^^

hisahiluv14
This one i hafta say is my favorite ^^ i love that first long verse of all short phrases...i still cant get over that..haha i love the structure and how well it flow ^^ GREAT JOB

smilepiggy
haha great work smilepiggy ^^ this is another one i think that would sound like the lyrics straight out of Jay song, of course...change the he's to she's =P i really liked that third verse ^^ the shadows hiding...u should help Jay write some songs =P

Jaymee
I thought this was an awesome poem ^^ i really liked that line at the end of the first verse "standing there yet I was too blind to see the beautiful//in front of me" haha something about sentences that dont make grammatical sense...i like them ^^ very diao

adnam8
Yay another LQper ^^ this is another one of those poems that was so good i had to read it out loud ^^ i like this line "The promises you made mean little, nothing, less" haha that comma can mean a lot...from little, to nothing, to less =P haha i love it ^^

sabriel
I think you had a very unique poem, it was like broad and open to interpetation, all that and very brief, and i really like that ^^ good job, and i love the rhyming ^^

Kakkyo
haha man, i wish i could write poems like that for my gf...haha thats awesome ^^ i really like the second verse...even tho thats not the love part...haha its really well written and a good choice of words ^^

Selsi
i though this poem was really well written, the kind a teacher would teach to kids out of a textbook =P i really like the lines "Taking control of your mind//And tormenting your soul" great job ^^

Lisa
Lisa Jie~ "I ponder the question, 'Why?' " as in...'why are u so talented?' o_O haha i think that this whole poem really got to me...cuz i feel that way a lot, haha of course i could never write so eloquetly about it ><

phoebe
This is another one i hafta read out loud, its just so good ^^ i really liked how well it flowed and that 'chorus' like part in the 3rd verse, that really caught my attention and i really like that...i can imagine it being sung ^^

ray-chan
i loved how this poem was brief and powerful ^^ i found the first verse to be really well written, its seems so simple, but i know i could never write anything like that =P awesome job ^^

thejay
haha this is one of the few poems that made me laugh =P the rhyming comes off as really cute and humourous i think "My darling, I don't mean to give you a fright//But... will you marry me tonight?" haha...reminds me of the T

ension MV "shes having my baby"... =P

Kyoko
"Love's like coffee" haha that reminded me of Elva's "Cappacino" haha, this poem is really well written i think, esp the last verse, and the last line, i really like that one about being swept away in a tornado ^^ great job

vashthestampede
wow long poem man, but it was awesome ^^ i thought the idea of each verse being a body part was really cool, and how you compared each to some else like "your voice, like a flute," haha that poem was really well written ^^

Odium: De_Vangelis
Last but definetly not least, this sounds like another poem that could be a Jay song =P haha i really liked this line "Where your innocent eyes tell me no lies" and how u made it rhyme with itself...thats one of my favorite lines out of all these poems ^^

Once again, i think everyone did a great job ^^b

[yummieboba]

Wow, good job everyone!! It's obvious everyone worked on hard on theirs. I think i really respect people who write poetry because that is definitely something i CANNOT do hehe. Great work!

smilepiggy: I really like your poem, and when I read it, it totally drew me in into what the speaker was feeling. Crazy! It sounds like it'd make a good song :happy: The ending makes me all :love: inside, and then I remember I'm a romantic at heart. :laughing:

:thumbsup:

[ashley]

I must confess that I am not a poetry-person. But I made myself go through all 19 submissions and lo and behold.. two writings caught my attention.

Vashdestampede's Perfection.
- Wow... your entry melted my cold heart. I love the way it makes me feel loved and beautiful. It reminds me of Jay's "Ning Ting de Dao", its like a personal sonata. :love: I'm going to print it out and read it daily to motivate my moody days. You can make a living by writing wedding vows, my friend.

hisahiluv14's Love
- Another great love poem. It made me tingle with anticipation, as if I was reading a great romance novel and about to reach a love scene. Eventhough I did not watch Pollock cos I'm noEd Harris fan, I can feel the maddeing love, the burning chemistry between man and woman. If only you did grab a pen and paper earlier, I wonder how much more passionate it would've been.

[lil~jo]

Fantastic poems, it was really hard to pick...well decide which poem was better.

Each poem had its different feelings an emotions!

The expressions made were overwhelming!

Jo: how can you write so many good poems! Don't you ever run out of ideas? (I'm envious)

Vashdestampede's Perfection
B-E-A utiful! wonderful piece of work....*sigh*

[Shanhaigirl]

your poems are so so nice, so romantic, so touching!!! i wish i could write poems in English!
i'm not gonna say much, i wanted to say thank you for sharing your poems, they really touched me!
i also wanted to say,Lisa , these words:

I try to ease my mind
But fail to do so
Quietly sobbing
Nursing my wounds
Not daring to whisper a word
Keeping all the pain to myself
A tear fights to push itself down my cheek
But the rest of me retaliated, refusing to let it stream down

i don't know why, but tears started dropping from my eyes after reading these lines... maybe because i felt this before...thank you from the bottom of my heart
:kisschee:

[beach gurl]

Wow, wow, wow, you guys are impressive.

Jaymee and smilepiggy, both of your poetry reminds me of my highschool crush - reminds me of the good ol'days. Thank you.

Hisashiluv14, your poetry is curt yet so 'dramatic', I could almost visualize that Pollock' episodes before I've even seen it.

Sabriel, I found your poetry so unique, love it !.

Van, the title got me first, and the content humorous and full of sincerity.

[smilepiggy]

hehes thanks guys. at least i pass my lit(i hope) .
i like everyone's poem. i mean, its like totally refreahing to see how everyone use differnet techinques to illustrate their messages. :) great jobs guys! cos every poem is UNIQUE!

[Viv]

Everyone's poem is so good. Mine is so amateur compared to them. Meh. I really loved everyone's poem, especially Lisa's and Jo's. I especially liked Lisa's more when I read what shanghaigirl had said. It was just too cute. ^^ Good job to everyone~ ^_^

[Melvin]

Those are such nice poems! All of them were so nice.. very thoughtfully written, I liked almost all of them! I really can't write poems half this good! I liked vashdestampede's, smilepiggy's and Jo's the best though :P

[jayx8318x]

Congratulations to hisashiluv14 for her winning this contest with her submission below.

For winning, you will get a $10 Gift Certificate to YesAsia.com courtesy of ashley, and also the following Jay Ye Hui Mei poster (I hope you don't have it already) it looks like the cover of the YHM album:
http://i3.yesasia.com/assets/imgs/music/31/p1002849631.jpg

ashley and I will be in contact with you shortly.

If you want to know the calculations on choosing the winner, and my thoughts on this entry read the note at the bottom.
But here is hisashiluv14's entry:


Some background information on the poem: It was inspired by Ed Harris's film, "Pollock", about American artist Jackson Pollock and the relationship he shared with his wife (he eventually died in a suicidal car crash, by the way). There was this beautiful, beautiful scene in the film whereby Pollock and Liz Krasner, his would-be wife, just met and shared a GORGEOUS intimate moment, and it was so effectively filmed, with a mild lulling in the background, and the camera was shooting from a distance and that scene inspired the poem, though I had words in my mind when I watched it but was too lazy to grab a pen and a paper to write them down, so the poem isn't as good as it should've been, but ah well.

Love

distance.
darkness.
awkwardness.
touch.
clothes.
taking off.
closure.
he's afraid.
she's willing.
he's hesitant.
she's patient.
fingers.
skin on skin.
draw closer.
mere shadows
against darkness
two stars
against light.
two bodies
apart, and then,
together.

lips. hands.
one rigid, frigid,
the other gentle, guiding.
Pollock & Krasner.
darkness.
we watch from a distance.
like we're detached,
separate.

two figures.
standing.
one reserved, the other ready.

lips. hands.
and then,

a kiss.




Since all entries had different numbers of people rating them, I calculated the average number of ratings (the number of people who rated that particular poem), and threw out all entries that fell below the average.
Then I took the top rated entries, threw out their high and lowest rating, recalculated their rating, and found that hisashiluv14 edged out the competition by a very small margin. But I feel her entry was probably the most different and creative. It's "sharp" and has a nice flow and rhythm to it. The imagery is also very apparent and used effectively. My favorite line:

mere shadows
against darkness
two stars
against light.

[/img]

[ashley]

Yaay!! I remember telling everyone that I'm not poetic but I gave hisashiluv14 good points because her work attracted me immensely.

Congratulations hisashiluv14 !


p/s: I'll wait for instructions from Karen before contacting you about the voucher. :wink2:

[sabriel]

hisashiluv14! congrats!
i loved the way the beat of the your words matched meanings, short and powerful. agressive like pollock, you captured his intensity in this work.
yay! congrats! :yeah:

[wackycashew]

hisashiluv14! grrreat stuff! :excited: :thumbsup: i loved your poem. even though i didn't watch the movie, i could totally envision the images. congrats!! :clink:

[muzikanjel]

congrats hisashiluv14!! i really loved ur one! its simple but deep and meaningful! great job! ^__~

[Shanhaigirl]

Hisashiluv14, congrats!!! your poem is really nice, deep, touching!
it's so unusual, unique, makes you think of the images you described!
thanx for sharing it with us and again, Congrats!!! :clink:

[kahel]

hisashiluv14, I have to agree about the beauty of your poem. I love how you use the small caps for your poem. And the one word lines that says it all. I also love how you used alliteration on some of your lines, it makes you anticipate every line of the poem.

GREAT JOB!:D

[hisashiluv14]

Whoa. Just - whoa. This is... whoa.

I mean, I haven't logged into this site for a few days as I've been very busy with school work, but... WHOA. This is just... WHOA!

Guys, this is awesome, simply amazing, and it's making me very happy right now which is great considering the amount of crap I've been through these few days. Thanks to all who liked the poem (I didn't like it much myself though) and thanks for all your lovely comments. I'm just really, really floored. I've never won any sort of poetry contests before, so this is just... TOTALLY DIAO!!

Hehe thanks again!! And I get a Jielun poster!!! :) :)

[coldmetaljay]

haha hisashiluv14, you need not be overwhelmed by the result because you really done a great job!! :happy:

I rated your poem as one of the highest because your poem is so unique and different from the others. It immediately catches my eyes when I first read the poem. I am totally impressed, touched and shocked that such a simple 1 word liner poem can be so powerful. Beautiful piece of work.

The other entries from the other members are really great too!! :happy: Its really a great pleasure to be able to enjoy so many pieces of fantastic poems from you guys!! This forum is just full of talented people!!

[phoebe]

congrats. hishashiluv14. great poem . bow to your creativeness.

[JianDan[Ai]]

i told u had the best poem of the them all ^_^ go LQP keep up the good work...

....and when i need...u wouldnt mind write a poem or 2 for me right? ...that i plan to use to get a girl.........

hahah JKJK =P

[rosiean86]

Congratulations hisashiluv14! The poem was very simple yet captured the moment very well. You definitely deserved to win :happy: You did a great job...hope to see more of your work soon.

[bee]

go hisashiluv14~! i love your poem too, its so sharp and emotional. but what else can i say? everyone else has said it, :laughing: write more so we can read those too! :wink2: [/b]

[hellokitty]

congrats hisashiluv14! Your poem is the best! I feel so happy for you! Keep the good work up!

[yiwen]

congrats hisashiluv14!!! I loved your poem too!!! It was really nice, simple and straightforward, yet having a mysterious aura about it, or is it just me? lol. congrats again!

[Viv]

Huge congrats to hiashiluv14!! You totally deserve this. Your poem was fantasic! And original too! Have fun with your prizes! :)

[luckypurple]

congrats hisashiluv14~ sorry its late:)
hope u have fun and make some more:)








Vicky:)

[littleasian]

GOOOOOD DAMN!

good poem, puts emily dickenson to shame :)

[cinsin]

Congrats hisashiluv14, I actually don't remember reading your poem but reading it just before I have to say it's a beautiful poem, the words were so powerful yet the poem was so simple. Congrats again and enjoy your prizes.

[abra16]

congrats!!! hishashiluv14 you got such talents!!! the words are used so accurately, sharp to the point. it's just there! hope you will continue to write and share your talent with us!

[knock]

Good Job, hisashiluv14! :happy:

I love your poem! It goes straight to the point instead of beating around the point! Thus, helps the reader to uinderstand what is it all about very fast! And even visualise the images too! :thumbsup: Good job there! You really deserve the voucher and Jay poster! :excited:

[smilepiggy]

YO hisashiluv14! you sure are made up of art-essence. (that's whta i call people who excel in Literature) oh wells, you got a YHM poster?i'm SO envious.mans, but you do deserve it for all taht tocuhign but simple lines! GO go go! do us proud next time with all your poems yar?

[vashdestampede]

Guys, this is awesome, simply amazing, and it's making me very happy right now which is great considering the amount of crap I've been through these few days.

congratulations!!! :excited:

now i hope this will convince to write and share more poems!!
especially when you need to let emotions out :)

[and then you'll join the secret poetic guild which will tear the non-poetic world asunder and take over the wor...um...bring happiness to the people of the world....yeah...that too]

hehe
congratulations again :D

[Squall]

congrats hisashiluv14
what a great peom you have written.
i love the way you used the word and it bring out the peom beautifully out.
whose is your JJ Gp tutor...what a great student she/he had taught

[xJayChoux]

congratulations hisashiluv14! :excited: i really love your poem. it has so much feeling and emotions...*speechless*

congratulations again! :flowers:

[lene]

congratulations hisashi ! :)

I'm no poet, but I loved your work. :happy: Very very creative and quite sensual. You have a very good writing style, using simple yet very powerful words. The imagery conveyed is likewise very sharp.

You're very talented. Do make more beautiful poems :happy: congrats!

[petheads]

Congratulations hisashiluv14! :prop:

I loved your poem too! Your simple words drew such vivid images. Another reason for my giving a high rating for your poem is that I think it's great that you were able to draw inspiration from a film scene and write such a beautiful poem. I definitely can't do that.

[Melvin]

Congratulations hisashiluv14,

I only read some of the poems and I must have missed yours. I really like the poem. Its very descriptive and I could imagine it. Lovely poem :)

[jakob]

i certainly thought that was the best entry of all. you deserve to win :wink2:

[.VaN.]

ur PoEM is GreaT !

[Jingle]

Congratulations hisashiluv14!!!

Your poem is really good, very deep with meaning and filled with passion and emotion.

You're a very talented poem writer..... :)

[Seltsi]

lol, congrats to hisashiluv14, ur poem is unique and potent...lucky, a $10 certificate and a Jay poster! Who wouldn't want that??? =)

[myo_infarc]

i like ur work hisashiluv14, it's really different and gets the imagination up and running :)

congrats, u deserve to win