Are Nursing Homes Really Safe? Do Kids Just Want To Get Rid Of Their Parents?

[Sugar&Spice]

I was discussing nursing homes with a friends the other day, and they seem like they do not take care of the older people there. I have worked in nursing homes, and the treatment that the older one get, is literaly a crime. Once put in the nursing homes, it is like the older ones are forgotten. The children don't really come around, and the staff(except for me) do not give them the care that they need. I think that once the parents get old, the children just want to get rid of them, because they feel thier parents have become a burden. I have had a woman say that to me as well, she said," I just don't have time for my parents."

This surprised me because me and my mother took care of my grandmother for 13 years, until she passed away last year. To me it is normal for you to take care of your parents and grandparents when they get old.

So what is everyones thoughts on this?! Do you feel that nursing homes are safe? And do you think that children just want to get rid of their parents, when they put them in there?!

[orangeman]

I think nursing homes give convenience to some old folks. It's easier to get medicine and health care. But at the cost of freedom. You don't own the place, and isn't like a home. Not a comfy and relaxed atmosphere to a visitor like me if I was to see my relatives.

I'm not sure about the treatment, but safety-wise, they should be good. The old people are monitored I assume, so the first sign of problems, it can be treated. Most places have locked gates and staff, so safety in ways of violenmce should also be good.

Sometimes, the old want to go to a nursing home. Not necessarily the kids' choice or fault. Yoo can't change old peoples' mind, since they're stubborn and weird.

Personally, some of the homes in my area are better than most houses. The old enjoy life well.

[KendoTiger]

Personally, I am expected to take care of my parents when they become elderly and are unable to live on their own.

I do not think nursing homes are a good choice for the following reasons:
1. As the staff does not have a personal connection to the elderly, they tend to stop caring (interesting quirks become annoying excentricities).
2. The facility is built to keep the elderly from hurting themselves, at the expense of freedom and sense of respect.
3. Knowledge of an individual's medical state is *rare* at a nursing home - simply because the son/daughter will be more familiar with their parent's medical status, whereas the staff have to know about a wide range of patients.
4. By removing the elderly from the family, they are unable to spend time and help improve the family (take care of children and pass on wisdom).

Overall, I think it is extremely disrespectful, and lazy, of a person wishing to send their parent's to a nursing home. I have more respect for an "assisted living" home - elderly rent a condo with a nurse support 24/7.

[Sugar&Spice]

I think nursing homes give convenience to some old folks. It's easier to get medicine and health care. But at the cost of freedom. You don't own the place, and isn't like a home. Not a comfy and relaxed atmosphere to a visitor like me if I was to see my relatives.
I'm not sure about the treatment, but safety-wise, they should be good. The old people are monitored I assume, so the first sign of problems, it can be treated. Most places have locked gates and staff, so safety in ways of violenmce should also be good.
Sometimes, the old want to go to a nursing home. Not necessarily the kids' choice or fault. Yoo can't change old peoples' mind, since they're stubborn and weird.
Personally, some of the homes in my area are better than most houses. The old enjoy life well.

Yeah In some places, they do treat the elderly good. But in the ones I saw. WOW!! You should see it, I mean they don't even feed them right. And I heard some of the elderly say,"I'm just in here waiting to die."Isn't that depressing?!

[qinshihuang]

what the kids who send their parents to old ppl's home just to 'get rid of them' forgot about is the sacrifice their parents went through to bring them up. i personally cannot imagine how i'm ever going to repay my mom for all the time, physical strain, and heartache she put into raising me. if i ever put her away from my care when she's old, it will be because it's for the best or it's her wish, and for no other reason. and i'm not so sure that old ppl's home is for the best or the old person's wish in many situations.

[Ginuwine]

personally im not gonna put my parents into a nursing home. im no mama's boy but i love my mum she's the one who brought me into this world. Yes, we do have our arguments but our love shadows over that. I dont think nursing homes treat the elderly really well.

[Sugar&Spice]

I agree with qinshihuang & Ginuwine- we have to beware of the things that our parents did for us. And treat them well in their old age. Nursing homes are not good for these reasons.....

1. Because of an overflow of the elderly in the nursing homes, the staff cannot really give them the care they need. Thus they lack the essential treatment vital for them to thrive successfully.

2. In nursing homes, the elderly are forced to think alot about their situation. Because of a lack of stimulous. Tey have recreation, but it is not really carried out well, and tends to lack the enthusiasim to get the elderly into a healthy frame of mind.

3. It alienates them from family and frineds. Causing them to feel alone, and depressed.

4. It reders them helpless. They lose all of their independence.

I would like to hear from someone who has put their parents in a nursing home. And why they thought it was the best thing. Or from someone who believes that nursing homes are best for the elderly. And why do you believe so?!

[judes]

i would put my parents in a nursing home if i am unable to care for them because they require immediate medical attention for some kind of serious illness. if i am unable to take care of them and they need round the clock care, i want them to be close to and have the best medical attention available to them, and sometimes that's provided better in a nursing home. also, if my future husband and i have busy careers and have to also take care of our children, we would probably do our best to accomodate them in our home and attempt to hire round the clock care, but if that's not possible, then the only option would be the nursing home.

with that being said however, i would install a camera and a voice recorder in the room of my parents to ensure that they're getting good care. if there is any hint of mistreatment, i will get them into a new place.

i believe that sometimes it is best to let professionals do their jobs. there are some great health care providers out there, and there are also bad ones, so i would attempt to do the research and place my parents in a good place if it's the last resort.

[jay_is_cute]

My grandma lived in and recently died in a nursing home. Placing her in a nursing home might not have been ideal, but I think it was the best option that was available. She lived in her own apartment alone as long as she possibly could, and we would visit her once a week. But then, she got weaker and weaker, and began falling down around the house and didn't even have enough strength to shower on her own. So we hired a family friend to keep watch over her in the daytime and cook for her. But finally, we had to send her to a nursing home after several health emergencies landed her in a hospital. We tried the best to keep her out of them and put her in as a last resort. She also had Alzheimer's, so it really was hard for her to get around on her own and function by herself. Besides, my mom and her siblings just couldn't stick around 24/7 to keep watch over her, so we sent her to a nursing home.

We like to believe she was treated well around there, but then again, the nurses might just have been putting on a show for us when we visited (which we did quite often). I saw how some of the nurses treated some of the other patients whose families were not always around--they would just shove food into those people's mouths and ignore their pleas for whatever they needed. It was sickening. In order for that not to happen to my grandma, we had to constantly "bribe" the nurses with stuff like cakes or whatever every time we went up and we always got them stuff on special occasions like chinese new year, etc.

After my grandma made several trips to the hospital during her stay in the nursing home, she finally died in there due to negligence. She died by choking on the mucus that was building up in her lungs. The nurses were suppose to check up on her every so often and pump the stuff out. They said they did, but they were obviously lying as mucus can't build up so fast as to go up the throat within 5 minutes.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that although nursing homes aren't good, sometimes its inevitable to place the elderly there. They aren't all bad as my grandma did get needed medical attention for the time that she was there (before the incident that caused her death.) Our family couldn't have possibly provided that for her, especially if she had something come up in the middle of the night or when we were all out. We didn't place her in a nursing home to get rid of her; we would've done everything to keep her at home, but the nursing home was the best option.

Everyone who said that "people who place parents in elderly homes forget about sacrifices they made" etc, --Well, are you willing to quit your jobs and neglect your family in order to provide the care necessary for a parent that needs to watched over 24/7? It might sound heartless, but it really is impractical to do so.

[Sugar&Spice]

jay_is_cute- I really feel sorry that you lost your grandmother. That must have been hard on everyone. But at least you and your family went to visit her often. Alot of people put them in the nursing homes because they are busy, and don't have time for them. Or because they have kids. But the reason you had to put your grandma in there was because you saw that she was at risk.

Alot of the nursing homes are not doing as they should. They are put there to help the family memebers, but do the exact opposite. And that puts people in a horrible situation, because they may really need help with their elderly.

In response to your closing statement. I started taking care of my grandmother when I was 11 years old. I would come home from school and help my mother take care of her. As I got older, and started working at 17, I would schedule work, around the care of my grandmother. So when I was at work, my mom cared for her, and when mom was at work I cared for her. At 20 I stopped work and stayed home with my grandmother because her condition got worse. And she lost the use of her legs, they got really weak, and she had to be confined to a wheelchair. So I stayed with her around the clock. Until she passed away last year, when I was 22. Now my family can be assured that we did all we could for her while she was alive. And she passed in the best health that she could to be 80 years old. The doctors marveled at her skin, and hair, because she was so well taken care of.

So yes I would put life on hold, for my mom/gramdparent if they got old. I'm not saying everyone should do it. Because circumstances are different. But I did, and I would. And if I couldn't just put life on hold, I would circle it around the care of my mother when she gets old. As we did for my grandmother.

[soapie]

jay is cute- - whoa. sorry to hear about your grandma. thank you though, for being so open and honest with your story.

i agree with you. although nursing homes may not be ideal in all situations, they are staffed with medical care. it may not always be adequate,but it may be more adequate than what a family can provide at home. since the elderly are living longer these days, they're also living longer while coping with various illnesses, and sometimes they need help offered by medically trained professionals.

sugar & spice... i'm also sorry to hear about your grandma. however, its encouraging to hear that families still try to care for their elderly as best they can. thanks for sharing your story, as well!

~ ~ ~

and to be fair, thoughts on both sides...

some nursing homes are bad.
i work at a hospital and whenever we get patients from nursing homes, they're always , what we call, a "train wreck." like they have bed sores because no one turns them, they have pneumonia because they choked on their food or water, they smell, they're sick, everything.. is just gross.

ideally..i would avoid putting a family member in a nursing home, if there were other options.

BUT if there aren't other options, there is still hope!
health care professionals are not always evil! lol.
although they do care for multiple patients at one time, that doesn't mean they won't treat your family member with the best that they have to offer. sometimes things can't be helped.. (like lack of resources or lack of support), but most of the time they try their best. they do try to get to know the residents, learn their quirks, and cater to their needs and interests.

[Sugar&Spice]

Saopie- Thank you your kind words are a treat. I know that at times, the nursing homes seem to have the right treatment for family members, but it is whether they give it to them or not. As jay_is_cute stated, her grandmother died because of neglect. They did not drain the mucus, in her throat. So even though they have the treatment, it is the issues of whether they use it or not.

I have seen a growing number of peoplewho can take care of their elderly parents, but have said that they do not really want to be bothered. And this is what really bugs me. This is the problem I have with those who put the elderly in there, because they are not safe. So if it not critical for why they are sent there, then they should not be put in there.

[soapie]

I have seen a growing number of peoplewho can take care of their elderly parents, but have said that they do not really want to be bothered. And this is what really bugs me. This is the problem I have with those who put the elderly in there, because they are not safe. So if it not critical for why they are sent there, then they should not be put in there.

I know what you mean, sugar & spice. i think that it also has to do with the american culture (mm.. i'm assuming you're american?) america stresses the idea of independence... kids leave the house at 18, go off on their own, do their own thing. and so that's exactly the mentality that screws them over later... so when they get old, their own children do the same thing and could care less about them, the same way they did to their own parents.

its a polar opposite from asian culture and tradition where values of family and community take precedent over independence. i couldn't agree with you more though, in hopes that children should feel not only obligated, but responsible,and lovingly desire to care for their parents.

[Sugar&Spice]

Soapie- You just brought up another good point. I also think that it is something that has to do with American culture. To not want to be bothered with your elderly parents, because not only are you supposed to be independant, but also modernised. But that is not with all americans, because it was my choice to put my life on hold to take care of my grandmother. I see the trend with "white" americans. And I'm not prejudice, but they tend to just leave their parents to fend for themselves, when they get older.


And yes, you mentioned asians not doing it. But I have seen them, whether they are ABC, or FOB, I see that alot of them tend to fit into the same american culture frame of mind, that says, be independant, and modernised. be busy with your husband, job, and kids, and just throw your Parents into a nursing home. I guess they feel as if that is the way to think once over here. And the ones born here think that way because that is so-called being a modern person. This is not assumptions, I have heard them say this on too many occastions. It really disgusts me on a grand scale.

[cinnimon~]

Personally, I am expected to take care of my parents when they become elderly and are unable to live on their own.
I do not think nursing homes are a good choice for the following reasons:
1. As the staff does not have a personal connection to the elderly, they tend to stop caring (interesting quirks become annoying excentricities).
2. The facility is built to keep the elderly from hurting themselves, at the expense of freedom and sense of respect.
3. Knowledge of an individual's medical state is *rare* at a nursing home - simply because the son/daughter will be more familiar with their parent's medical status, whereas the staff have to know about a wide range of patients.
4. By removing the elderly from the family, they are unable to spend time and help improve the family (take care of children and pass on wisdom).
Overall, I think it is extremely disrespectful, and lazy, of a person wishing to send their parent's to a nursing home. I have more respect for an "assisted living" home - elderly rent a condo with a nurse support 24/7.
I agree with KendoTiger. Blood is thicker than water. Who do you think will treat the elderly better? Family or outsiders? Plus parents did so much for us. We were a burden to our mothers while she was pregnant with us.Our mothers loved us so much that she would rather go through the pain than stop the pain she was feeling by aborting us. 9 months. Those nine months were painful.

Our parents love us alot. Yet how can some people bear to put them in a nursing home. Are parents simply a burden? Or are they those disposable stuff you get at the supermarket. Once they are no longer of use to you, you dump them in the bin.

Many old folks at the home go insane after months of being in the home. Why? Because they lack love. Like babies, they loved to be touched, cared for. A baby can die without attention and love. I believe its the same to old folks.

[karyn531]

Nursing homes were built for a noble reason. But there are people who will turn innocent causes to their own advantage. Either that, or I am wrong and they just wanted to make money.

My school organizes annual visits to homes and orphanages. The condition of those places are not to the extend that they make their "victims" life difficult... or at least, not here. Loneliness is undeniable, in the sense that the "family protection" is missing, but then, there are other patients there suffering the same thing.

One cannot deny that it is sometimes the old & sick person's wish to go to a nursing home. They probably felt unwelcomed at home, sorry to say that, and it's difficult to adjust to being dependent on others. Some people just can't. Hence the wish to stay in a nursing home. Which probably isn't a much better choice.

My mother's colleague had to put her father in one such place. Don't misunderstand, she and her father had a mutual love for each other. But both of them are the only members of the family left alive, she's the breadwinner and had to work full-time to support them both. He's sick and needed care around the clock. Relatives in another state. The only choice left is to put him in a nursing home. Things like this can happen.

Her father died last year.

[Joanne]

imo, i think if you do enough research and not cheap to dish out the cash, then you will find the nursing homes that are good. if the elderly you wanna place into the nursing home is in dire need of help just to do simple daily tasks and taking meds while their children are too busy with their own life because of needs like money then, yeah... as heartbreaking it may be, they can't provide for that elderly so extra help is needed and also the elderly one can't move around in their own home to rent a home visiting nurse... personally, i would not want to get rid of my parents in that sort of manner. if that day ever comes then i would visit them at every chance i get. but yeah, i know people who do that to get rid of their folks.

[sinyee]

I really feel sorry for parents who are forced into nursing homes. What upsets me more is that they do not put up a fight because they believe they children will come round one day. It really is heartbreaking.

[Sugar&Spice]

Sinyee- I agree with you! There was this older woman where I used to work. And she would get dressed and sit at the door to the nursing home, waiting for her chidlren to come visit her. When the day passed, and they did not come, she was heartbroken. She did this everyday, and they never came. Once she got a phone call, and they said that they were coming to get her.


She got up early, to get ready, and she waited all day. And guess what?! They never came. She was so hurt.


I love my mother too much to let her stay in a nursing home. I would take care of my mother no matter how old she got. I disagree with anyone who puts their parents in a nursing home. No matter what the reason is. I refuse to do that to my mother. And we never did that to my grandmother either!!

[kwonsang26]

i would put my parents in a nursing home if i am unable to care for them because they require immediate medical attention for some kind of serious illness. if i am unable to take care of them and they need round the clock care, i want them to be close to and have the best medical attention available to them, and sometimes that's provided better in a nursing home. also, if my future husband and i have busy careers and have to also take care of our children, we would probably do our best to accomodate them in our home and attempt to hire round the clock care, but if that's not possible, then the only option would be the nursing home.
with that being said however, i would install a camera and a voice recorder in the room of my parents to ensure that they're getting good care. if there is any hint of mistreatment, i will get them into a new place.
i believe that sometimes it is best to let professionals do their jobs. there are some great health care providers out there, and there are also bad ones, so i would attempt to do the research and place my parents in a good place if it's the last resort.

You made some great points that I was honestly going to mention judes.Because I was thinking what if it wasn't safe for your elderly parent to be around the house anymore.For example,what comes with old age is memory loss whether it's long-term or short-term or both.

Oneday,my grandma woke up at around 5am & decided to make breakfast for the whole family.So she filled a pan up with oil & left it on the stove to heat up.She started watching a movie with one of her favorite stars,Clint Eastwood.

She got so into the movie that she forgot the about the oil burning in the kitchen & smoke started to fill the entire house.Which is when she noticed something funny & finally walked into the kitchen to turn the stove off.
My parents woke up to the smell of something burning & my dad yelled & insulted her for about 30 min.While my mom opened the windows & doors in the house.

I felt really bad for my grandma & often times would hold her hand & wipe her tears.Because my dad & uncles are not so nice to her which angers me at times.My grandma has also caused similar problems with her short-term memory loss.:cry:

But no matter what, I still love her & it brings me to tears sometimes to see her suffer & want to die like that.One of the few rare times that my dad & uncles were a little respectful was when she was hospitalized for internal bleeding & urinating blood.:cry:

Even though I have a full-time job & I'm taking classes.I still try my best to make my grandma's last years as happy & pleasant as possible.Sometimes I would rather see her in a good nursing home then be disrespected by her own sons.

I feel that I'm blessed & lucky that she's still here with me even though she's in her 80's.But I honestly couldn't put my parents in a nursing home.So I hope my story will help you understand nursing homes a little better & the decisions that are made to put your own parent in one.^^ :wave:

[yayableu]

in my culture... sending your parents off to nursing homes is an insult. it is not something that people in my culture do anyways.

i think nurses are having to deal with so many patients that they just get tired and dont give much care and compassion anymore.

i would never send my parents off. i wouldnt agree to others sending their parents off too.

when one was a child and crying, the parents did not send them away... so...
i think it's rude to send elders to nursing homes.

[jct8]

I don't think all nursing homes are as bad as the ones that you have heard of. Also, in some situations, families don't have the option of taking care of their parents, whom which they can no longer take care of themselves. For example, some families don't have time to work and take care of their own kids, as well as their parents if they don't have the money.

[alice_jjar]

Hey, jay_is_cute, I'm sorry you lost your grandmother as well. But, I cannot believe how those nurse treat those people there. So incorrigible. I would never send my parents to a nursing home. One alternative that my parents always tell me is that for me to study hard so that I can provide for them. So, even if they are sick they needed attention for all time. I would simply hire a full time nurse in my house so that my parents wouldn't have to suffer the torture at the nursing homes.

Honestly, how could anyone bare to put their parents there. I understand if the elderly has no one else in the world. But other than that, I don't see how these people should be neglected. Think about the hours of labour your mother went through.

The nights that your father had to wake up to sooth you to sleep when you awoke in the middle of the night. Think about all the time that you were so sick that your father had to leave his work place to bring you to the doctor and care for you.

This about all those time you were in your mother's womb, you kick so hard and it pains your mom. Or, when you were pushing on the bladder so bad that she had to run in and out of the toilet all the time.

Think about the sacrifices. Therefore people think about how you're going to repay your parents in the future.

[vanillae123]

I think the opinion defers depending on one's culture. And I think the condition of nursing home is different in one country when compared to another.

In asian countries, it is not our culture to send your parents to a nursing home. The elders will usually live alone or along with their children and grandkids. Plus, in my opinion, the condition of the nursing home (in developing country, such as mine) is different than the one in developed country. The nursing home here is usually contained the stray, poor, childless elders who has nowhere to go, no children to take care of them, or simply unwanted. Finding a good nursing home is difficult. It is rare, or do no exist at all.

But here in Malaysia, I once heard about a good nursing home. I'm not sure where, but there is one. I do agree with Joanne, if you are willing to fork out and do a thorough research, there is a good nursing home around.

Funny enough, even my dad think that sometimes it is better for the elderly to go to a nursing home. And he doesn't mean the common one. I'm sure he mean the good one. Lets think of it that way, if your parents stay at your home, sitting around all day doing nothing, feeling akward at their own child's home, I do think that it is better for them to stay in the nursing home where the will get the best medical treatment, a company, and various activities that they can do.

And imagine your parents are very very sick and I'm sure you want them to have the best treatment there is, even if it means that the have to stay in the nursing home.

About the story on how the children never visit their parents, don't blame the nursing home. Blame the child. Even if the parents stayed at the kid's home, I'm pretty much sure that they will be neglected. If you love your parents enough you will find time to visit them.

You must think of me as a cruel person who wants to get rid of her parents. No I'm not! I will not send my parents to the nursing home. (Especially one that I've seen around me!)They have their own plan on what they want to do when they are older. It's just that sometime I want to justify on behalf of people who do sent their parents to the nursing home. I'm sure they (even if it is a very small percentage) do love their parents but somehow, circumstances make it that way.

Wow, that's long.

[chineseguyjl]

are nursing homes really safe?
-they feed you, change your diaper, entertain you, take care of you.
what are u asking? if nursing homes will poison u?

so kids just want to get rid of their parents?
depends on the person. majority if ur white, yes. because most start businesses, maintain jobs and cant stay home to take care of em. if ur mexican or asian, your family tree probably has a grip load of people, you have plenty of people to take care of, and plus u need them to take care of your kids.

how i see it from the people around me is asians put family before business to the end, vise versa for whites. not being racist or prejudice, but majority of the time thats how it is.

[jayn]

I think some of the reasons kids send their folks to the nursing home is because they find them too much a burden; annoyed with their constant nagging, senile, always asking for attention, etc.

I do feel that way sometimes but not to the extent of sending my folks to the nursing home. I do enjoy talking to my mother but not really my grandmother :bleh: Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed talking to my grandma when I was a kid but as the years passed and she gets older and older, she becomes more and more forgetful. She always repeats the same story over and over again. Sometimes, when I want to watch a movie that I've been waiting for months, she'd start talking to me and that kinda distracts me.

Anyway, I do feel sorry for her because I know that she's bored and lonely because she can't read and if she watches foreign movies, she doesn't know what they're talking about. She likes to ask me what they are talking about and that does annoy me but as a filial granddaughter, I just restrain myself from snapping at her because that would be very, very bad of me. I would regret it afterwards, so in the end, I just tell her the whole story even though I had to miss some parts *sigh*

To give my opinion on this matter, I will never send my parents/grandparents to the old folks home. It doesn't matter how annoying they are. The least I can do is to live faraway from them :bleh: hehe

I've been to the old folks home to visit and the environment there reminded of the hospital but worse, in a sense that they don't have any hope of ever going out of the place. They can't go out to buy ingredients to cook their kids' favourite meal because they stay behind bars. I mean, if I were to be sent to an old folks home, I wouldn't even dream of cooking my kids any meal except maybe to poison them. LOL. Just kidding. It's like a prison. Also, these old people, they kinda get the message that their kids no longer find them important that they are willing to send them to live with strangers. How do we know that they don't get bullied by the others? Not all old people are nice.

Besides that, I'm not so sure about the hygiene in places like that. Even in the hospital, I'll need to take a bath after going to the hospital, because I would imagine all the bacteria crawling on my skin.

Next, the food they eat... I don't think they have banquets there. I mean, the meal may be edible and even decent but think about it... it's like living in a boot camp or what. You eat the same things as everyone else. It's not like you have a choice.

Conclusion: Don't send your folks to the old folks home if you don't want to be in the same situation yourself. There's such a thing as karma, you know.

[alisadorsey@yahoo.co]

My mother was a nurse who worked in a nursing home for years. She would always say that she hoped that we would never be put in one, because she felt that the elderly were even more neglected there in the nursing home than at home. I worked in the same place with her one summer for extra money as an assistant dietician aide. I saw what she meant. Some of the workers would ignore the elderly when they would call them for help, and would just watch TV or talk with their friends on the phone.

Personally, I would never have put my parents in a nursing home, because they took care of me when I was a helpless baby for years. I would honor them by doing the same if they needed me.

I don't think that everyone puts their parents in a nursing home because they are trying to get rid of them. I have a friend who put their mother in one, because the care she needed was alot. They could not handle the stress of also taking care of two children and a spouse. They had to life their mother up for various reasons to bathe her, feed her, clothe her. Plus they were working full-time. They hired a home care worker while they worked, but had to do the rest when they got home. This was exhausting to them. But they love their mother, but decided that thy had to put their mother in a nursing home for better care. Not all nursing homes are the same. You have the slum ones, but you would need to do some research first, if you do decide to put your parent in one. So some people put their parents in nursing homes, because they cannot provide the special care for them that they need. Everyone is different in what they would do.

[roxyloveschou]

My mom works at a nursing home. So my obvious answer to this is: YES!!! They are safe. Nurses working in nursing homes are SUPPOSED to be there to take care of older people. They aren't there to cause any harm to them.:bang:

But to answer the question on whether kids wanna get rid of the parents or not: In my case, I wouldn't mind having my mother in a nursing home when she's older because I know I won't be able to take care of her, mostly because I plan to move out of the country after I am finished with college.

[Qinghe]

Personally, I would find it hard to put my parents into a nursing home. In some ways, it seems like it would be a jail to an elderly person. The good thing is that they do get cared for, but they might not be visited by their children and/or grandchildren. Some people who do not have time to care for their parents because they are too busy with their own lives. It's really sad though, when someone looks at it from the perspective of the one left behind.

Life is kind of like a sandwich. When someone is born, their parents whether biological or adopted take care of them. Later on, that person may have children and take care of them. Then when they grow old, I guess they want their children to take care of them again.

It depends on the person and their situation, but I would not put my parents in a nursing home. My grandma lived on her own for the last ten or so years of her life. Every time I visited her, she seemed very depressed, and she didn't seem to have emotion.

[Peach_happo]

well, i think nursing homes are safe. but i dont think dat ALL kids place their parents/grandparents there to "get rid" of them. i wouldnt put it dat way.
there are alot of reasons.
and dont be suprised dat my grandpa is put in one of them.
but do u even know his condition?
hes just recently suffered from a stroke, and now, he cannot move the left side of his body and he cannot talk properly either. he normally lives with my grandma, and only my grandma. now, think about it realistically. do u really think, my grandma can really handle such a big responsibility? i mean, dudes, she so old now, dont u think shes going to be very tired?
it would only be sensible if he was put in a nursing home. so then, dat would mean, she didnt hv to look after him every minute. she wouldnt have to change him[cos he cant go to the toilet], she wouldnt have to feed him, hold him so he can sit down, or lay on his bed.

besides, she visits him more than once a day, dats not too bad, right?
relatives occasionally visit him, maybe once in three days, for the ones who dun live overseas but since i live overseas, i dun visit him as much.