Do Men Fear Opinionated Women?!

[Sugar&Spice]

Most men say that they can't stand a dumb woman, but when they get a woman who likes to express her views. Then all of a sudden, we are coming off too strong. It behoves me to see how they want a woman to be quite one minute, but they want someone who is smart the next minute. As long as you don't speak your mind too often. How crazy is that?! I want to hear from both sides. Ladies, do you think men are intimadated by strong minded women?! And guys, if you are imtimadated by a strong minded woman, why is that? And what is everyones view on strong minded women in general?!

[KendoTiger]

Yes and no.

Dumb women, even if sexually appealing, are easy to lose interest in. After all, caring for someone is hard if it feels like you're talking to a dog.

A woman who is smart, has her own opinions, and is easy to converse with is best. If she's opinionated to the point of being stubborn and bitchy, then it's a real turn off. Yay for asian girls - I rarely see the bad kind of opinionated girls.

[orangeman]

I'd prefer women who speak their minds, and not hold back on issues, I mean, a women's view on the world is different than males. It's interesting to hear, as long as the women is not too arrogant.

I wouldn't feel intimidated by a strong minded women, but it's weird talking to one. They will argue too much on everyday things, and it gets annoying to listen. No offense, but constant bitching gets on my nerves.

[countess]

I think some boys out there are terrified that women these days are becoming more and more opinionated. I know a few guys who outright hate feminists and probably fear them- BUT girls who are opinionated need not be feminists. Then there are the guys who claim to not mind if a girl beats him in an exam or debate.. i'm not too sure on how true that is though. It's quite easy to differentiate the "types" of guys though. For example, the guy who likes to show off to their male friends by putting dowm/making fun of a girl will definitely fear an opinionated woman. But then again, i think a certain amount of fear for women may also work to our advantage.

[Sugar&Spice]

I think some boys out there are terrified that women these days are becoming more and more opinionated. I know a few guys who outright hate feminists and probably fear them- BUT girls who are opinionated need not be feminists. Then there are the guys who claim to not mind if a girl beats him in an exam or debate.. i'm not too sure on how true that is though. It's quite easy to differentiate the "types" of guys though. For example, the guy who likes to show off to their male friends by putting dowm/making fun of a girl will definitely fear an opinionated woman. But then again, i think a certain amount of fear for women may also work to our advantage.

I think that it can work to our advantage too. And yeah, some men do say, I don't mind an opinionated woman. But when they come up against one then all of a sudden its a different story. Sometimes I think it is funny how they will think they are impressing you, and then you start to talk back, and thier mouths drop. That is comedy central at its best.

I'd prefer women who speak their minds, and not hold back on issues, I mean, a women's view on the world is different than males. It's interesting to hear, as long as the women is not too arrogant.

I wouldn't feel intimidated by a strong minded women, but it's weird talking to one. They will argue too much on everyday things, and it gets annoying to listen. No offense, but constant bitching gets on my nerves.

Why is it weird talking to a opinionated woman?!

Now I understand why you don't want to talk to a woman who is always complaining. That is another issue. Because some women take it too far, and call, being annoying, opinionated. But thats not the case.

[orangeman]

I have no reason for why I feel weird, but I just do. It doesn't justify, but it's just how I am.

[cync.jay]

do you think men are intimidated by strong minded women?
hmm.. depends on the men.. different ppl different taste.. it's good to be a strong minded woman but with limit, that is.. It's ok to talk and debate bout intellect and meaningful issues.. but strong minded as in must have it their way and you to agree at everything they says?!!.. oh my gawd.. i ll be intimidated by them too~

then.. in my opinion.. guys have ego.. as evolution goes.. man is regarded as the more superior one.. lol.. obviously it is not so now.. (please dont trash me on this :>).. but that's still what most ppl thinks.. esp guys.. so when a strongER minded woman come around.. they sure feel "something"..

but as a gal myself.. being strong minded is good as u can think well.. but being too strong minded and always showing it is not good.. hmm.. some of the times.. i just act blur and dumb.. haha.. follow the flows and counteract when just necessary..

[chineseguyjl]

theres this girl in my government class that is extremely opinionated in poilitics. atleast one aregurment everyday. even though i still talk to her and good friends with her boy friend, it gets a little irratating. other than that its fine.

[Sugar&Spice]

I consider myself strong minded, but I can't stand when I see other women, being annoying and stubborn. Never giving in, and always complaining. And they have the nerve to say that is because they are strong minded. I hate that, because that is just being wstupid. They never agree to disagree.

But what I'm talking about is how, men at times fear women when they are intellectualy smarter then them. Then they tend to feel as if the girl is trying to show them up. That is the thing that really annoys me.

[countess]

But what I'm talking about is how, men at times fear women when they are intellectualy smarter then them. Then they tend to feel as if the girl is trying to show them up. That is the thing that really annoys me.

Sorry, i didn't quite get what you were saying there, what does "show them up" mean exactly? Plus, what do guys do when they feel that they aren't intellectually or academically as consistent as a girl?

[happifruit]

I'm a moderatly strong-minded woman myself, but I think that there's a line between strong-minded and just plain bitchy.

I think strong-minded means one that isn't afraid to voice an opinion because she's scared that it will scare the guy off. Bitchy, on the other hand, is one who voices her opinion on everything and refuses to hear what the other person has to say.

However, I don't think any woman should EVER pretend that she's stupid in front of a guy. That's just degrading to our intellects as a whole.

The intellectual superiority is a different spin on this. Guys are known for their egos, and although they say that it's okay, how do guys really feel when a girl beats them at something academically?

[wil69]

I disagree. You are generalizing that all men do not want an intelligent woman who speaks her mind. Although maybe some are like that, not all men follow that path. Those who are intimidated by a woman who is better than him in intellect or any other attibute has little confidence in himself. I love when intelligent women speak their minds. Women and men think in very different ways and its always good to have more than one perspective when viewing the same topic. A strong woman is a great quality, you just need to find the right men who can accept this.

[Sugar&Spice]

I disagree. You are generalizing that all men do not want an intelligent woman who speaks her mind. Although maybe some are like that, not all men follow that path. Those who are intimidated by a woman who is better than him in intellect or any other attibute has little confidence in himself. I love when intelligent women speak their minds. Women and men think in very different ways and its always good to have more than one perspective when viewing the same topic. A strong woman is a great quality, you just need to find the right men who can accept this.

WOW!! I like you!! Men who think this way are hard to find, because they just can't accept not always being in charge. Even when they are unsure of what they are doing, or saying, most men would rather make a mistake before taking any good advice, or help from a women. Many men have a problem admitting they were wrong, and want women to play dubm, to make them feel better, and cover up for their mistakes, or for what they don't know.

[happifruit]

I agree with Sugar&Spice...I'm so happy that there are men this way wil69, although they are EXTREMELY hard to find. I know a lot of males who would rather have a root canal than admit that they're wrong about something.

[crazylunatic]

From my experience I think if the opinion is directed TOWARDS the guy or it conflicts with the guy's beliefs/morals/lifestyle/philosphy/etc. then that's when it's a turn off for guys. More to do with the male pride than an opinionated woman.

If a woman is too stubborn it may make the guy think he doesn't have control over the woman. Honestly, as much as today's society is attempting to equalize the roles of man and woman, we cannot completely ignore the fact that guys still have their male pride...so there are times we need to show the guys that they are still the person w/ control :bleh: hehehe

So I don't think it's the fear of opinionated woman but the fear that they are losing the "traditional" male role completely...

[Chun Li]

You know, it's really annoying how they have to (in front of their friends) act like they control their women. Like if I start to become opinionated in front of his friends and stuff, he gets mad. uuurrgh. Asian men have so much pride!

[Sugar&Spice]

I agree with Sugar&Spice...I'm so happy that there are men this way wil69, although they are EXTREMELY hard to find. I know a lot of males who would rather have a root canal than admit that they're wrong about something.

I like how you capitalized extremely.:D Because its true. Out of all the guys that I have met, who have fallen for me. One of them was truly humble and didn't mind a woman who has her own mind. And that is really a shame. Why can't men just accept the fact that women are entitled to a little independence, and to have the right to express themselves.

From my experience I think if the opinion is directed TOWARDS the guy or it conflicts with the guy's beliefs/morals/lifestyle/philosphy/etc. then that's when it's a turn off for guys. More to do with the male pride than an opinionated woman.
If a woman is too stubborn it may make the guy think he doesn't have control over the woman. Honestly, as much as today's society is attempting to equalize the roles of man and woman, we cannot completely ignore the fact that guys still have their male pride...so there are times we need to show the guys that they are still the person w/ control :bleh: hehehe
So I don't think it's the fear of opinionated woman but the fear that they are losing the "traditional" male role completely...

That is the point. Men have this male pride that causes them to fear opinionated women. And yes they always have to be in control.:bleh: But I would never let a man feel as if he has control over me, not even in the least bit. I would respect and have consideration for my man. But I could never play dumb and let him feel as if he has the control over me.

You know, it's really annoying how they have to (in front of their friends) act like they control their women. Like if I start to become opinionated in front of his friends and stuff, he gets mad. uuurrgh. Asian men have so much pride!

I hate that too. Its like, they can be so sweet, and gental when your not around their friends. But when they get in front of their boys, then you have to be quiet while they play tough. I don't think that is just asian guys, but all men. Black men do it too, and it is so annoying. All men need a reailty check when it comes to this.:D

[orangeman]

I agree with Sugar&Spice...I'm so happy that there are men this way wil69, although they are EXTREMELY hard to find. I know a lot of males who would rather have a root canal than admit that they're wrong about something.

To change my earleir opinion, I feel that when I admit something wrong to a girl especially, my pride is lowered a little. To males, I feel wrong, stupid and angry, but my pride is about the same. Nothing against women, but I'd rather be stubborn then give in. I know I'll get yelled at for doing something wrong, so I don't take female suggestions to heart. For males, no one really cares what I do, since we tend to have a " if it's done, it's done" attitude. I don't fear of doing something wrong among guys, but girls is another thing.

[ssejy_kun]

What do men have to fear? Women are just guys with different appendages! It's even been proven that we live longer are are generally smarter than them. I mean, we're living in the 21st Century, and i think that it's time for all the guys and galls to get their heads around the fact that traditional gender roles really don't exist anymore. Well, at least in most western societies. People! We have houseHUSBANDS now! :-) Why must men see women as inferior, even if they only acknowledge it subconsciously? What does women having a go, having their own say, have to do with damn male pride?

And you know all those girls who dress like skanks/sluts, and act like complete idiots/dumbasses ("Is tuna chicken?" "Oh, help me! My feet are getting wet!" "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"). They really do not add to the image of the modern, intelligent woman. they detract it by 50 BILLION BAJILLION ZILLION!!!!

But, i guess i don't really have these problems, becuase basically all the guys i know (white and asian) are all fine with girls having an opinion and even making guys look crap in front of their mates. It's just so natural and normal and commonplace, that i don't see why some guys would feel so strongly offended about women using their brains and mouths together at the same time. *gasp* But then you have your scantily clad, brainless, STOOPID girls to build up an image of an inferior gender. :rasp: Rasp! Rasp! RASP, I SAY!!!!

[beyOnd aLL reasOn]

Some men might dislike opinionated women, but those are the men who typically never like opinionated women in the first place.
For the most part, I think strong minded people (men and women) can become a little bit irritating when they just HAVE TO get their word in. I myself respect them and their opinions, but anyone who has strong opinions will always tend to irk other people.

I don't like to make distinctions between strong minded men and strong minded women. Opinions are opinions no matter what the origin. Ultimately, they are the same, but it is interesting to see how differently they can be viewed in society.

[Sugar&Spice]

No, this is not a discussion about the distinction of mens opinions over womens. I just wanted to know why some men are intimadated by, womens opinions. And I have seen quite a few of them, who feel this way.

[gifted1]

I don't know but I do not fear opinionated women. I've hung out with several girls and I find it awfully stupid to have a girl that acts dumb. I hate Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie because of their stupid acts. I don't mean that I don't like dumb girls neither but there is a balance between these two minds, too opinionated and too dumb. I'd like to see a girl that is really intelligent and that knows what they want. HELL, talk all day, make me happy, I like when girls talk and talk for hours without stopping, because I know I talk a lot as well. I would like to meet an opinionated girl for once. All the girls I met are kinda... dumb because they act cute and all.

[zhy378]

Some men might dislike opinionated women, but those are the men who typically never like opinionated women in the first place.

i like ur statement beyOnd aLL reason.

i say some fear opinionated women because they fear changes in their society. as far as i know, most people grew up in an enviroment where men are dominated. when a woman resent their society system of rules by being open and opinionate, then men are either shocked-outrageous or respecting them.

so as crazylunatic, maybe they are just afraid of losing the 'traditional' male role in society. so while some men are fearing and disliking opinionated women, some men are actually okay and respecting women as their equals.

[Pugwash]

It's just a human flaw that someone will want something one minute and then something totally different the next minute. Simple as that.

Personally, I prefer girls that fall in the middle of being totally reserved and "opinionated." I like girls who can talk and not think about it because I'm a rather quiet guy, but I hate girls who just speak everything on their mind and have to say EVERYTHING and everything.

[Singerchick]

Depends on the man's mental strength.

If he's strong enough to handle the muscles of a women's brain then he shouldn't be. However, if he's a weak invidividual, then obviously he wants someone who's subservient - but what's the fun of being with a girl that offers no psychological stimulation?

The men who say they want a "strong" women but get annoyed when she "nags" too much, in reality don't want a strong women. They just put on a facade as to hide their own weakness.

[Sugar&Spice]

I agree!! It is often weak, and insecure men who can't take any sort of opinion from a woman, because they feel they have to be on top. And also that the woman will reveal the fact that he might not know that much. I once heard a man say, that he wants a dumb girl, or one who acts dumb, to make himself look smart. Now is that insecure or what?!

[vanillae123]

Maybe it has to do with how they where brought up, I guess. (The men, I mean)

The men (and boys) that I knew since kid have no problem with women with an opinion. I knew this, since I'm very... opinionated.

But when I went to boarding school, and met different people with different background, I have been told to keep my opinion to myself. My old friends, who have the same background as I am, have no problem with that.

So, Sugar&Spice, in my opinion, they act that way because or their upbringing, education, social standing, etc. ^^

Well, thats my two cents worth

[DannLionel]

ahem... im a man, so here's my opinion

i dont know what other think but here is what i think...
i guess man would like a smart and dumb girl at the same time.
someone that knows when to be smart and when to let the guy to show his smartness.
someone that could complete the guy.

[wanie_jay]

its typical isn't it? for ladies, we want to see some girls power, the ability to speak your mind, but, for guys, they just hate the guts we have.. i always think that, we should be able to speak when there are things that bothers us,but, there's always that point, when you need to be observative, be quiet,and make your point.

some ladies tend to be so aggresive, the way they voice out their opinions may cause some troubles, but, if we say it right, i guess, it should be no problems at all....

[willywutang]

It's just a human flaw that someone will want something one minute and then something totally different the next minute. Simple as that.

Personally, I prefer girls that fall in the middle of being totally reserved and "opinionated." I like girls who can talk and not think about it because I'm a rather quiet guy, but I hate girls who just speak everything on their mind and have to say EVERYTHING and everything.

Totally agree with you. I'm sort of a quiet guy myself and I prefer girls that are neither too opinionated or too reserved. I hate when girls speak everything on their mind because it is annoying. I admit I can listen to people talk for a long time but there comes a point when they should know when to stop talking.

[Sugar&Spice]

ahem... im a man, so here's my opinion
i dont know what other think but here is what i think...
i guess man would like a smart and dumb girl at the same time.
someone that knows when to be smart and when to let the guy to show his smartness.
someone that could complete the guy.

Oh my goodnes! This fits into what I was saying before. No offence to you, but that is really a seixst thing to say. So girls can only be smart when the guy aproves for her to be smart?! I think it should be 50/50 and that they should both be able to show their smarts. Why should a girl have to play the dumb role when the guy wants to look smart?!

[orangeman]

ahem... im a man, so here's my opinion
i dont know what other think but here is what i think...
i guess man would like a smart and dumb girl at the same time.
someone that knows when to be smart and when to let the guy to show his smartness.
someone that could complete the guy.
Oh my goodnes! This fits into what I was saying before. No offence to you, but that is really a seixst thing to say. So girls can only be smart when the guy aproves for her to be smart?! I think it should be 50/50 and that they should both be able to show their smarts. Why should a girl have to play the dumb role when the guy wants to look smart?!

I'm on a similar train of thought as DannLionel. I prefer someone who is smart, but also know when to be dumb. It's not an insult to women. It means that the girl shouldn't be talking smartly all the time, and prevent the man to be prideful. I don't think he means to control the girl on when to be dumb/smart, but rather when to not make the man look stupid. No man wants to lose to a girl, or in this case, be stupidier. Competitive nature of males.

My take on his opinion. And I have to say, girls are so defensive; no offense to any females. This is kinda turning into some sort of womans' rights thread. And for the record, I'm not a sexist. Please don't accuse me of it.

[Cybore]

I think that expressing your views does not necessarily make you any smarter. A quiet woman is not any dumber than a strong minded one. It all comes down to whether you like a girl that engages in conversation with you frequently vs one that speaks less often. Personally, I'd like a girl who's more shy/quiet but can think quickly when the situation calls for it. That's pretty much the reason you try to find someone in life you are comfortable with.

[judes]

men do not fear opinionated women, at least not in my experience, but there are times when there are people who don't know the proper time or place to speak. it is good to have opinions and good to speak honestly or directly, but sometimes it is also appropriate to be quiet and to step back to analyze the situation before spouting your opinions off. which is what i believe some of the men here are trying to say...i certainly hope so anyway.

i'm not friends with a lot of women because some of them are opinionated to the point where it is difficult to hold a conversation with them. there are opinions that are excellent and to the point, then there are opinions for the sake of filling in space in the conversation. i don't like it when both women or men choose to comment on someone's relationships, for example, whether criticizing that the man isn't right for the woman or the woman is older than the man and it's inappropriate or the couple is too young to be married. i hear a lot of women gossip and discuss someone else's private life where it is none of their business. that is not to say when inappropriate things like abuse is happening that someone shouldn't speak up, but there are some personal issues that shouldn't be picked apart.

i also find it irritating that there are women who would criticize and express their disgust at someone else's fashion sense and then become upset when others comment on their own. i believe that if you have an opinion, feel free to express it, BUT when someone makes the same comment about you and you take it personally, then it's completely ridiculous. but both men and women do this.

i believe however that a woman should not "dumb herself down" for a man because his pride might be offended. if my boyfriend does something totally ridiculous, i would call him on it. i would tell him that what he is doing is completely inappropriate. the same applies to any of my male friends. in an intellectual discussion, if a fact presented by one of the people in the discussion whether male or female is wrong, then i would say that they are wrong and disregard the idea that his pride might be shot in front of his friends or colleagues.

however, it is inappropriate on the side of the female to make light of situations or personal issues that visibly affect whoever she's with. there is such a thing as pushing a joke too far, and it takes maturity and experience to be able to gauge the line between an innocent and a cruel joke. that's what distinguishes a mature opinionated woman from an ignorant opinionated woman.

a mature opinionated woman knows when to express herself, knows when to be quiet, knows when to push forward to get her ideas heard, and knows when to step back to rethink the situation.

an ignorant opinionated woman is like a fountain that gushes out irrelevent and tactless opinions continually. she possesses no logic and no respect for other people. and even though i am not a man, i would fear this kind of woman.

[happifruit]

ahem... im a man, so here's my opinion
i dont know what other think but here is what i think...
i guess man would like a smart and dumb girl at the same time.
someone that knows when to be smart and when to let the guy to show his smartness.
someone that could complete the guy.

This is EXACTLY what we were trying to get at!
What do you mean "when" to be smart? When the guy thinks that it's alright for her to be? When there are no other guys around so the guy doesn't look stupid? I agree with Sugar&Spice: that is pretty sexist. From what you're saying, it sounds like men don't fear opininated women, they just don't like it when they speak their minds at the wrong time and make the guy look bad. So is it just that you don't have enough self-confidence to have a girl with her own mind around??

(Sorry, that wasn't meant to be a personal attack, just an attack on your comment. I just don't quite get what you're trying to get at.)

I like judes' take on this. Referring back to my first post, there's a distinct difference between having one's own mind and bitchy.

[X_LISTEN_X]

I'm a guy and no i dont' feel intiminated, smart women these days are pretty normal, but soem oen who's REALLY smart can really put a guy down,I mean like if the girl starts showing up the male figure, he might feel a little threatened. At the same time i enjoy when women makes comments about something, girls who don't say much are just too quiet, they depend on the guy too much and it puts pressure on him. Girls who actually have a sence of direction are usually going to do better with their other half

I love my girl <3

[Sugar&Spice]

happyfruit youreally hit the nail on the head with that one. I like when you said that men don't fear opinionated women, they just don't like when women speak their minds at the wrong time in front of their buddies. And they don't want to be called sexist, but they still think in this way.(orangeman I'm not calling you one) But their mind is still in the earlier days when women of all kinds, never spoke when the man didn't want them to speak, and was seen and not heard. Well I don't think so!:bleh:

[DannLionel]

Oh my goodnes! This fits into what I was saying before. No offence to you, but that is really a seixst thing to say. So girls can only be smart when the guy aproves for her to be smart?! I think it should be 50/50 and that they should both be able to show their smarts. Why should a girl have to play the dumb role when the guy wants to look smart?!

No comment...
Agree with the 50/50 in your suggestion

[judes]

what is this interest with "male pride"? you don't hear girls complaining about how guys are insulting their "female pride"? male pride is this ridiculously outdated notion that's still being supported by predominantly asian cultures where a girl is always supposed to be on the side of her man and never make him look stupid, to the point where even if she knows she is right she has to keep quiet.

sometimes i wish certain men would keep their mouth shut so i don't look stupid associating with them, but you don't hear me talking about him insulting "my female pride".

please.

good thing that i know many great examples of men who aren't into silly and outdated ideas of gender roles.

[X_LISTEN_X]

judes:"male pride is this ridiculously outdated notion that's still being supported by predominantly asian cultures where a girl is always supposed to be on the side of her man and never make him look stupid, to the point where even if she knows she is right she has to keep quiet."


Yea that's true msot girls these days are out going even more than guys, i find that guys are more shy and females are mroe driect to what they want. haha, I'm a guy so i shoudl know, abotu 7/10 girls i know are really out going and they came up and talked to me before i went to them. Shy girls just dont' seem liek to exist anymore XD

[Sugar&Spice]

judes:"male pride is this ridiculously outdated notion that's still being supported by predominantly asian cultures where a girl is always supposed to be on the side of her man and never make him look stupid, to the point where even if she knows she is right she has to keep quiet."


Yea that's true msot girls these days are out going even more than guys, i find that guys are more shy and females are mroe driect to what they want. haha, I'm a guy so i shoudl know, abotu 7/10 girls i know are really out going and they came up and talked to me before i went to them. Shy girls just dont' seem liek to exist anymore XD

So you like the shy girls huh?! Well I'm going to send a bunch of opinionated women out to get you!!:D

[X_LISTEN_X]

No, jsut to tell you my current girl friend is a very out going girl, she tells me everything straight forawrd, she leaves nothing. and she's brutially honest but i love about her. Shy girls provide a sence of a stronger male presence, but with a girl who's Opinionated means there's more to talk about and laugh about, mroe choices, the guy doens't have to make alot of desicions anymore it puts alot of weight off the guy and i really belive with Opinionated Women couples get along better, there more interaction with another(talking) so both sides get what they want.

[Ginuwine]

i dont mind if a girl is opinionated but when they are constantly agruing and bitching about stuff its gets irrating. so thats why i like girls who can be opinated at times but quiet aswell.

[yukiko]

Do men fear opiniated woman?

only dumb men would fear opiniated woman. because everyone have ego and would feel embarassing if there's someone beside them are cleverer or more intelligent than they are.

but as a woman, i should we better act less than men. it doesnt mean we have to looked idiot, but there's a time we can be opiniated, not most of time.

ginuwine : there's a line between opinionated and arguing & bitching

[Rekki]

I prefer a woman who can speak her mind, as opposed to some pretty face. It wouldn't be fun otherwise.

[godfather]

My GF isn't opinionated when we have to pick a place to go eat; we spend 30 minutes driving around town thinking which restaurant to go to. I'm an average guy who would eat just anything when I'm hungry. So, I'd like an opinionated girl on this kind of things.

However, my GF is opinionated when I bring up a topic for a little debate. I guess when no decisions are to be made, she's a big chatter box who will dominate my opinions. I particularly take no liking to that. And she's not stupid at all, she can reason. I only win debates on factual stuff and she wins debates on unfactual discussions.

Opinionated women aren't annoying till they cross the lines, I'd just let her slide when she does. To me, honesty is more of a key to a successful relationship, not "types". We frankly don't have that issue.

-Peter-

[chrissiewoods]

men fear opinionated women because they still believe in "knights-in-shining armor" and "damsels-in-distress". they fear intellectual women because they know in their subconscious that women can rule the world effortlessly... it's the same thing as those who hurt women, take advantage of their weakness, abuses them, degrades them, and discriminate them. those kind of men know subconsiously that women can be strong in every aspect, even physical... i think women should discover their strength more than they should discover and fear their weaknesses... women can endure the greatedt of pains, are more strategic, are more of a solution-maker... forget about "damsels-in-distress", it's actually more like"knights-in-distress"...

[Sha]

I don't believe there's a simple yes or no answer to this.

I think it's true that the majority of men (who are after a lasting relationship and aren't in it just for sex) will prefer a woman with some brains and can converse fluently and knowledgably about many various topics and one who doesn't always say "Whatever you want honey" or "Up to you".

However, there are those men (who thankfully don't add up to that much of the population) who are very traditional and believe a woman needs to stand behind a man, not in front and not even at the side. You know, those guys who sit at home and do nothing while the wife/gf cooks and cleans. Those stuck in the Ice Ages and haven't yet evolved from the neanderthal.

On the other hand, some women are too opinionated to the extent of being obnoxious. I certainly don't think women are the weaker sex or need protection from a man (unless we want it) but I also think there are those females out there who just get these ideas in their head and won't let it go like a dog with a bone. It's not so much the fact that they're opinionated that bugs me but the fact that they won't budge, reason or even be open to other people's arguments.

I have a friend who's as stubborn as mule and even more opinionated. A lot of guys do steer clear of her and think she's too much. The kind of guys that tend to like her are very soft, indecisive and need someone to push them to make up their mind. So in a way it achieves a balancing effect. If two people are very opinionated and strong-minded in a relationship, most likely it won't work out or they'll constantly be quarrelling. If two people in a relationship are both very quiet, it'll be very boring and most likely nothing will ever get done. If there's a balance, then that's perfect.

But I don't think it's just men, it's women too who fear opinionated women. Maybe fear's not the right word. Avoid. Dislike.

Have your opinions. If you believe strongly in them, stand up for them when they're criticised. But don't be too bull-headed not to listen to the other person's point of view. Even if you don't agree, you can still listen and who knows, maybe you'll walk away with something.

[happifruit]

But I don't think it's just men, it's women too who fear opinionated women. Maybe fear's not the right word. Avoid. Dislike.

Have your opinions. If you believe strongly in them, stand up for them when they're criticised. But don't be too bull-headed not to listen to the other person's point of view. Even if you don't agree, you can still listen and who knows, maybe you'll walk away with something.

I don't think anyone likes to be around someone who is unwilling to even consider listening to anyone else, men or women.

Yeup, that's exactly it. There's a fine line between having a stand and just plain rude.

[lil~jo]

Well I believe this is just a human reaction for everyone.

Generally all people want a person who is of equal statute to themselves.

Men in the olden days prefered us ladies to be inferior to themselves.

Nowadays, its not of their choice, and they have to just take us as we are, whether we are above or beneath them.

Depending on what type of male you are talking about (domineering or submissive)
But a typical male, never quite wants to step down, or show himself as weaker to the female.
But nowadays as women now take charge of large firms, the country. Whether or not they fear it, they have to live and experience it. And sadly now that the women are taking over, they tend to stand side by side by each other not allowing men to get job opportunites or a raise in position.
I believe they do fear this, and in a lot of companies, this sort of discrimination still exists.
But the tables are turning and women are practically at present just gettting back at the men who keep them not opinionated in the olden days.

In the future, this should simmer down, and when we reach the equilibrium, of an equal amount of men and women on the top, men and women wil no fear each other for mere opinions.

OH...and do you people know of the alpha male?
hah....if you do I have said enough...
Cause equilibrium is hard to come by, when there is constant competition to be the alpha male of the pack, the supreme.
It may sound morally wrong to compare an animal to our belovered male species, hehe...but they do emit personalities that would prove to us that there are alpha males, or alpha male wannabes admist us.
hahaha....

[kwonsang26]

I don't think men fear opinionated women unless he's a coward.But they're annoyed by too much talking.:crazy:

It also depends on what kind of man you have to.If you have a man that isn't too educated.Don't have a college debate with him or he'll just ignore you.

But if you got a educated man,then by all means debate & most likely he'll express his opinions too.

Because many men don't like to argue because they don't possess the proper vocabulary & comprehension skills to win the argument.But that's just my opinion & experience with men.:bleh:

[jct8]

Where I live, and the men that I come across at my university, that does not seem to be a problem - men do not seem to have a problem with opinionated women. I guess I really depends on where you live and what kind of people you interact with.

[dh144498]

opinionated women are definitely a pain in the #$$. a couple of my friends are a little mad about those kind of women. But i personally like opinionated women because they are open minded and like to share their thoughts.

[simple_girl]

i am very opinated because i think its important for people to hear what you have to say..not bite my tongue because i think someone would disagree..i dont mind a proper debate..but since im lving in a australia i think most guys living in asia wont approve of me because im opinated and cannot be a 'sheep' as in just follow and agree for the sake of fitting in...
men to fear opinated women especially in asia because their less open minded because of wheer they have grown up, environment etcbut i think some men dont want to be challenged by some women and especially their girlfriends because it 'wouldnt be right'

[chineseguyjl]

i am very opinated because i think its important for people to hear what you have to say..not bite my tongue because i think someone would disagree..i dont mind a proper debate..but since im lving in a australia i think most guys living in asia wont approve and fear me because im opinated and cannot be a 'sheep' as in just follow and agree for the sake of fitting in...
men to fear opinated women especially in asia because their less open minded because of wheer they have grown up, environment etcbut i think some men dont want to be challenged by some women and especially their girlfriends because it 'wouldnt be right'
damn girl thats freaky.

personally i dont mind a girl with opinionated mind. honestly a smart girl that can challenge me in debate is sexy, and i would go out wit her anyday. a girl has a mind of her own just like a guy, its just to a point where they go pms on your ass that gets annoying. everything else is still sexy

[alisadorsey@yahoo.co]

I totally agree that some men are intimidated by strong-minded women. From experience. I have an appearance of self-confidence, not complacency, which tend to come off like I think I am better than I should think. I just feel really sure about myself, and so do not let others opinion of me deter me from being myself. Oh my gosh use a big word, and some men are thinking like, " Oh she thinks I am stupid". Not even. To me these type of men are not in my standard book to even give the time of day. Have some kind of self-confidence in yourself. I do not always say the right words when talking to a guy. But hey, I am big enough to either apologize for it coming out wrong, or retract what I said and correct righ then and there. Some guys just give up and do not even try again when they mess up. Que lastima~ What a shame. Could have been something there. But in my experience, like someone in the above forum said, when oyu sometimes have an opinion and your head on straight, some men assume you are aggressive or coming on too strong. Not fair~

[jayn]

I won't say men "fear" opinionated women. From my personal experience, guys like girls who are opinionated than airheads. However, I do believe that guys do not like it when women are smarter than them in EVERYTHING. For example, my boyfriend loves the fact that I'm a good student and he's proud to show me off to his family. But he also appreciates the fact that I am not as good as him in computers. Hence, for things concerning gadgets, I always need to consult him. It's not that I'm computer illiterate but I'm just not as good as him in using softwares or computer games. I just let him win and not try to outdo him although I do learn more about computers from him because I know that like girls, guys also need their ego. But for us girls, we don't tend to show off in front of our friends :bleh:

[simple_girl]

damn girl thats freaky.

wtf...ok..
lol i just read what i wrote..i was thinking wtf..i think what i meant to say is i give my opinions because just what to voice my thoughts..i know girls bite their tongues because they don't want to disagree with ANYTHING with other people and their boyfriends..and just follow blindly..even when i know they strongly disagree... it's just really wtf because they just get controlled into doing things

Paraphrasing what i was tyring to say before I think this issue would be more prominent in asia because most people are still quite traditional..like more guys would want their girlfriend to be submissive than in western countries like Australia.

But i do reckon it is some really men do 'fear' opinionated woman..isn't happening in HK now?? There are a lot more unmarried HK women than HK men because some of the men don't like the opinionated and normally independent woman..that's why their finding submissive women from mainland china

[alisadorsey@yahoo.co]

I still do agree that some men do fear and stay away from opinionated women. I cannot answer for all women nor all men from my culture, but from experience I do find that some men rather have a woman who is more traditional. I believe that you can be submissive, and at the same time, you can have still voice your opinion on things. Being submissive does not mean that you are in a slave-like relationship, but that you respect that the man is the head of the household and makes the final decisions in your family. My mother was submissive to my father. Depending on your upbringing, you may debate this statement. But how I was raised was that the man is the head, and the woman is his helper. Even though my dad made the final decisions in my home, he still respected my mother's opinion and sometimes did what she suggested. Some men like challenging women like Chineseguy above. But some men feel that you should not say a word and just cook and clean, and do everything at their command. I know that because I love my husband, whomever he may be in the future, he would never have to ask me to cook nor clean. That is what Iwould do anyways, because we love each and respect each other. I would never debate with him about things a wife should do, because I know my role and I promised him in marriage that I would no longer live as an independent thinker. But my parents were great examples to me to follow, and I believe that two in a marriage or relationship should talk about matters in a peaceful respectful way, without trying to make each other do what the other wants forcefully. You don't get anywhere with this kind of attitude or demand. I think that this is one reason why so many relationships fail. Whether in marriage or in friendship, because no one listens anymore. No good communication, but just one-sided demands or self-centeredness-all about me and what I want. Either by the girl or the guy. You have to work together to get any relationship right. If not, then there is always misunderstandings and break ups.

[DaeronX]

bleh reminds me of my EX XD

anyways I kinda like it, it gets really exciting at the moment of arguing hahaha trying to outwit ur partner!

anyways intelligence is something i admire in a woman ^.^

[alisadorsey@yahoo.co]

Sorry if I remind you of your EX. I probably remind other guys of theirs as well. Daeron, some women just like to be heard and not to be like silent butterflies or mariposas on a wall. I for my part don't try to argue with a guy. Sometimes we just don't agree. But I am not the kind of person who would try to make him agree with me if he does not want to. I just drop the issue and move one. You have to keep the peace. My parents did not always agree, but could you believe it I never heard them argue. They never did that in front of us. So I try to be liek them. I am far beyond not being perfect, but because so many marriages and relationships fail today, I want to do better in my next one should that ever happen. I try to come to some kind of compromise.

Some guys like to walk away from a girl, feeling like she is so demanding and asking them to change or something. So they turn their backs on the girl thinking she is crazy and trying to mold you. You are always going to be yourself, but if you never make any changes about yourself in your entire life, then something is wrong. We always should do self-examinations and try to do better the next time, should we not keep the present relationship and why it might not had worked. Cannot always be the other person. Maybe something we can chage about ourselves. I want the guy to be himself, but since we represent each other when we are in public, because people do judge you when you are dating someone whether you like it or not, I want both of us to have good reputations and not try to embarrass each other in front of people. I would like the guy to communicate with me, even if he has to express soemthing I don't like. I will listen, because I would like for him to listen to me. But I think that is somewhat the problem today in relationships, communication. No-one wants to listen nor talk about their feelings. Please understand, we women have feelings that we liek to express. Even if you don't agree, it would be nice one day to find a guy who at least listens.

[DaeronX]

omg stop it T-T hahaha (i forgot u were 37 she was also very mature for her age)

yeah i totally agree with u ^^ cuz the most important thing in a relationship is communication... thats a mistake i made that u mentioned before, expressing things i didnt like, but because i loved her i just let them pass...

but she would just complain about any minor thing she didnt like LOL which in someway made me gradually change, because of her...

and I understand you ^^ i think u have the wrong idea of me XD

[alisadorsey@yahoo.co]

What idea is that Daeron that I have of you?

Yes, I am older now. I cannot believe it. I remember being 18. Time sure flies.

Yes, we girls do mature a little faster than you guys. Sorry! But we really do. Sorry your relationship did not work for you. Never a good thing for anyone.

I know that we girls do talk alot, and many guys just are not made that way. You guys like to play video games, enter pie eating contests, or do other manyly guy things. Nothing wrong with these things. I guess the problem comes when you do these things, you only include the guys. I don't know the solution on how to balance these activites, except to invite the girl sometimes.

No, I would not want to do everything with my BF. I want him to hang with the guys and do his guy things. People get bored and feel they need space sometimes. I want to hang with my girls sometimes. But I also want us to trust each other when we are apart. That we are honest toward each other. If I can be honest and faithful, then he should be also. Even though we are not married to each other. Because whether you guys like it or not, we girls sometimes are trying to see if you are marriage material. You may not even have that thought come about your minds.

My brother when he got married, I asked my now sister-in-law was she sure about him. I knew my brother. he was not a marrying type of guy. But they have been married since 95, and have two children. Yeah problems come up, but they communicate and solve their problems. What I am trying to say, even the guy you see who has some type of potential to be your husband, you should give him a chance. All first appearances are not what should determine how you perceive the person. I would give a guy a chance if I see that there is some potential for him being a good boyfriend. Who does not have something to work on? I know I do have plnety of things.

[DaeronX]

uhmm actually i was the one who brought up the idea of marriage...(i was serious even introduced her to my mom) kinda like a promise we did XD when coming back from her studies overseas... BUT she found someone else there T-T, i got a phone call and bleh yknow the story

[alisadorsey@yahoo.co]

Sorry. That is a bummer. I feel sad for you.Wow! you were really serious with her. Nice to know that about you. (-: Breaking up with a person on the phone is not good. No better than by text messaging. I don't know which is worse. But I am glad that you are OK. Just look at it this way, she was not the one for you. There is a right girl for you out there. You just have to be patient to find her or she will find you. Just wait and see. At least that is what my friend's keep telling me about the right guy. So I will pass that along to you.

[DaeronX]

hahaha ALISAA WE ARE LONELY!!! T-T yeah... i mean i was shocked at first didnt expect that from her, it was more like a dissapointment... BUT ONE DAY ILL FIND SOMEONE ^^

[alisadorsey@yahoo.co]

I guess we are lonely to an extent. But we keep busy though with doing different activities to keep our minds off of things. I have never been married before, nor has anyone ever asked me before. That is quite strange that the guys I knew were almost going to. But never went through with it. So for awhile I felt like there was something wrong with me. But I think about things now and see that they were not the right ones for me. Disappointment is a part of life, sadly. But you eventually get over it and move on to something better that comes along.

Back to you. I am sorry that had to happen to you. But you will prevail. I feel it is so important to be honest upfront with a person, even if it is bad news. Better that then to find out way along the line, then be really crushed. Yes, I believe that one day you will find the right girl. Be confident of that fact. (-:

[judes]

...let's try and move the conversation back to the debate at hand?