What's Your Take on Pre-Nuptial Agreements?

[Jingle]

Lately, I've been hearing a few different perspectives on prenuptial agreements. What do you think of prenuptial agreements?

In case some people don't know what a prenuptial agreement is, I've got some info and definitions on what it is.

Definition

Prenuptial Agreement - A written agreement by a couple who plan to marry in which financial matters, including rights following divorce or the death of one spouse, are detailed.

This pre-marriage agreement is a legal document. It is a contract between you and your fiancée that addresses financial issues and any other issues that are important to you and your fiancée. These other issues may include children, religion, sharing housekeeping tasks and career support.

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A perspective I've heard about prenup agreements is that the agreement is a "safety net" for both people in the marriage. Since you basically get everything you had going into the marriage when the time arises for a divorce, it means that both parties can't "scam" for money, property, etc....or whatever assets or valuables.

I think that marriage is about trust, so why do you need a prenup agreement. Don't you go into marriage trusting that you will be with this other person for the rest of your life and share everything? I mean, maybe I am too naive to think that way nowadays as many people say that nothing lasts forever?!

But, I truly believe that when you go into marriage, you are going to share all you have, both emotionally and financially. I mean some people have separate bank accounts, etc. But, you don't count the pennies and divide all spending in 1/2....do you? I guess I am very traditional and don't believe/want to think that there is a such thing as divorce!! :cry:

I think that marriage is a big thing in life and it's all about trusting each other and loving each other forever. I guess maybe I'm too shallow about the whole marriage thing and that's why I don't believe in a prenup agreement. But, I guess that the opposite of love is hate - and 2 people who don't love each other anymore can go to extremes to "get" what they think they deserve (ex. money, property...etc).... I guess it also depends on the situation - ex. if one person cheated on the other, then it's a whole diff. story...

What do you think of prenup agreements? Don't they just symbolize that both people lack trust and shouldn't proceed with marriage if they feel so INSECURE?? I guess it is an issue of insecurity as well.....

I'm just looking to see what other people think about this. Any opinions would be appreciated.


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Source:
http://www.dictionary.com
http://www.sherridonovan.com/shouldwe.htm

[navlem]

i think the same way as you

I think there should be mutual trust for each other before going into marriage...

[scarletwillow]

Nothing wrong with it, since the divorce rate in America is quickly approaching 60%.

The whole prenup thing, I'm going to ignore. If you lack trust in your partner that much, you shouldn't be getting married. Too many people see marriage as free sex.

[Jingle]

Nothing wrong with it, since the divorce rate in America is quickly approaching 60%.
The whole prenup thing, I'm going to ignore. If you lack trust in your partner that much, you shouldn't be getting married. Too many people see marriage as free sex.

Is the divorce rate in America THAT high???:?
Wow...that's hard to believe. I guess people these days just don't value and cherish the meaning and responsibility of marriage.....:-x

Do you really think that trust is a determining factor in a prenup?

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btw, sorry mods....i guess i posted in the wrong section and this topic had to be moved. oops...:happy:

[Water424]

hmmm...
i guess
why do they even have them
its like a premonition that the marriage will end badly
i dont like that
i mean i would marry for happiness and face what life brings together

like cuddle on the couch for hours on end with no care
stay in bed all day cuz you just love the way they look when they sleep
breakfast together
cooking together
not "o i get this much when we divorce orblah blah stuff like that
i mean that just ruins it all
for prenuptial agreements down
booo:bleh: :oops: :-x

[amdawn]

if it takes a written contract to detail such things, one shouldn't get marry. if you're worried someone getting your money, then you obviously care more what happens to the money than your marriage. the contract is just a constant sticky reminder about end of marriage and its result. why have it if you intend to spend all your life with this one person. yes, divorce happens but i see it as a forever cloud hovering over the marriage.

i don't see marriage as free sex. people seem to enjoy it with people they happen to not be married to.

divorce rates are high because it seems people have less tolerance for each other. they rather take a quick exit than stay to figure how to make it work. it gives a free flight than take responsibility for their first commitment. of course the upside of divorce is that you don't have stick around relationships that are abusive and deleterious.

[Jingle]

if it takes a written contract to detail such things, one shouldn't get marry. if you're worried someone getting your money, then you obviously care more what happens to the money than your marriage. the contract is just a constant sticky reminder about end of marriage and its result.

amdawn....you are totally speaking my mind. that's exactly how I feel about prenups...that if you're worried all about "money" and other assets, inheritance stuff, then it's true - you care more about what you own or what you could own if a divorce occurs.

I just don't get how some people see it as a "safety net" for both parties. Isn't it like wanting to protect yourself more, but just sayingthat it's a safety net for both because you don't want to admit your selfishness???:dry:

[soybeast]

I think it really depends on a couple things.

1. If you have money
2. The state divorce laws (50/50?)
3. If you make it a big deal

If you don't have much money to lose then of course it won't matter much if you have a prenup or not. Of course divorce can get messy even if you are sorta poor, but that usually happens if one or both parties truly hate each other (cheated on? etc.).

Anyways, the kind of people where prenups are important for are rich people and I think you'd have to form an opinion from their perspective. The prenup is just sort of an insurance policy just like everyone has car insurance or maybe life insurance. In those cases you wouldn't argue against someone getting insurance just because it's like setting yourself up for an accident. Love has nothing to do with insurance. As for the other partner, well if they do love you then they'll be able to understand why its there and that after signing it it shouldn't be important at all. Unless of course they were gunning for the money in the first place.

[Citanul]

I'm totally for a prenup.

Just because people get a prenup does not mean there is no trust. If there is so much trust in the relationship, then getting a prenup should not be an issue. It's fair in the case of a divorce that each person come out of the relationship with what they came into it with. This would prevent either spouse from unfairly leeching off the resources of the other.

[HarmonyCloud]

I agree with most of the other members have said about Pre-nuptial agreements. I feel like your asking for a divorce, like your anticipating it. Also its sad that your money is more improtant than your relationship...I understand, yes there are people with lots of money, ofcourse it is important, but, breaking up should not be what you are thinking of when your going into a marriage...Its things like this I feel that causes the 60% divorce rate...:oops:

[Jingle]

I'm totally for a prenup.

Just because people get a prenup does not mean there is no trust. If there is so much trust in the relationship, then getting a prenup should not be an issue. It's fair in the case of a divorce that each person come out of the relationship with what they came into it with. This would prevent either spouse from unfairly leeching off the resources of the other.

It can also be said that since there is so much trust in the relationship, why get the prenup? You trust each other enough that you know the other person won't leech off you. Right???

I guess there can be 2 standpoints ...well, obviously...since it is a debate...

If one person wants one and one doesn't - the arguements from both sides are relevant, depending on your perspective.:wink2:

[soybeast]

Well I just don't see why anyone should make a big deal about it if it's going to be a non-issue anyways. Unless of course the other party is trying to gain from the marriage in some way.

The whole thing about trust is baloney in my opinion. Since when can anyone put all their faith into anything much less a mistake-prone human being. Get real.

[KendoTiger]

Unless she's (or he) is a gold-digger (only interested in their "spouses'" money), then I really don't see the point of a prenup. I mean ~ if you love them, then you should be able to put your faith in them. *shrugs* I really dont see this as an issue ~ it's fine with me if people want to do it, or not do it.

[scarletwillow]

Unless she's (or he) is a gold-digger (only interested in their "spouses'" money), then I really don't see the point of a prenup. I mean ~ if you love them, then you should be able to put your faith in them. *shrugs* I really dont see this as an issue ~ it's fine with me if people want to do it, or not do it.

That is true, but sadly at this point, marriage is hardly a holy institution any more, much less a respected one. I mean, more or less, and gimme some credit here, a girl with a wedding ring in America is just saying "I'm taken, but you're quite welcome to give it a good try".

Moray decay, what can I say.

[Jingle]

That is true, but sadly at this point, marriage is hardly a holy institution any more, much less a respected one.

Actually, I think it's really dependent on your perspective. Some people in today's society still value marriage the same way people did back in the olden days. However, some other people in this century view marriage as just another stage in life that they "should" go through and don't value the ring on their finger as anything.

[KendoTiger]

Moray decay, what can I say.

...moray decay? *confused*

keke :p

Yet, people also believe that it is unnecesary ~ my friend's brother proposed after dating a girl for five years (and moving in together, etc). She turned him down, saying that she didn't want to ruin their lives with something they didn't need. He asked if she loved him ~ she said she did, but couldn't marry him ~ etc etc ~ terrible mess

[nycgirls]

My shallow view on this issue-

Pre-Nuptials are for those who: (1 or more applies)
1) Think they might be tricked for some reasons.
2) Had certain things that they think their partners did not tell them
3) Had certain things that they didn't tell their partners
4) For 2 and 3, they are under the condition in which that if the secrets are revealed, breaks in marriage could happen.
5) Has a sharp nature of self-protection (too sharp, maybe)
6) Agree on certain extent that the world "is not what it used to be," aka less secured, or less in trusts, or more...
7) their relationships were just like agreements, so pre-nups are the same deals...
8) think that pre-nups are "in fashion..."
9) have the additional X-factors for individual cases.

Pre-nups won't happen if...
1) The idealism of marriage did not change;
2) The idealism of relationship did not change

I miss the good old days... I wonder if this "trend" will die out soon, or it is part of the evolution of human kind. I know I will still value the old system, but how many are still with me on this????? :confused:

[xiaoting]

well, i guess the two people could learn to love each other, but that's highly unlikely.

but i'm either way. if they must have a pre-nuptial agreement, then by all means, go ahead. these two people should know what they're getting into. all their time and effort will go into this agreement, like a real marriage. if they make this decision together and know that there will be a lot of obstacles and rough days in the future, then go ahead.

it doesn't matter if this is just a pre-nuptial agreement or a marriage. both need mutual trust. but the only difference is that prenups don't have the love-trust, or the love itself in them, while real marriages do.

[sweet_cocoangel]

From a logical and legal perspective, there is nothing wrong with pre-nups. To a certain extent, it does make things less messy in the case of a divorce. If neither parties have a problem with it, then they should go ahead with it.

[Livlife2_fullest]

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[jisho]

Sure you should have trust in a marriage, but sometimes stuff just happens and people divorce. And sometimes a bitter spouse caught up in the emotions may attempt take half of what ya got. So GO PRE-NUP!